The year is already on a steady pace to an end and there are so many goals that have been achieved and some yet to accomplish. Personally, despite the so many flaws I have seen in myself, it is evident that a lot of things went quite well for me and I’m really grateful to God and the amazing people he used to make that possible. As the year is coming to an end, I have so many imaginary plans of how I want the coming year to be like, but for this post, I will be focusing on something I will want to prioritize above others.
Being a student has always made me nervous, I worry so much the moment I remind myself that I’m a student and for some reasons, when it comes to me being a student, I struggle so much in believing in myself. For years, I have made myself believe that I’m not good with studying, especially educational related subjects. Of course, this thoughts were evident in my results every session. I was so pained but then, the moment I realized I was my own problem, I just try to shy away from facing that problem and just accept being the lesser version of myself.
I got so used to telling anyone that I’m a no-booker. Reading is not my thing and school is a struggle for me. How pessimistic of me! Sadly, just as I thought, so I became and even worst by the day because the more I also tend to leaning towards just giving up on myself. The only part I’m a bit fortunate is that, I have people who have seen me do better and that made them believe so much in me to do well in most things I set my mind to. All the try to do, is make me see a reason to make up my mind to do something and that is all.
I can be a very determined person but then, it takes a really long time most times and that is because it is something that will change my life for the better. This coming year, to me, it’s an opportunity to prioritize believing in myself. Enough of others believing in me more than I believe in myself. Now, even starting from today, I want to know me and know me well. I don’t want to be scared of trying that I end up not trying at all.
I want to put myself out there and give everything my best shot. No more hiding from responsibilities or problems, I will face them and I’m very sure that as long as I don’t give up I will get to the finish line. The coming year holds so much for me and I’m not going to say never. Mistakes? They are one of my fears and I think it’s time I face them and get it right. I know I might get hurt but this time, those scars will definitely be worth it. I deserve to be a better me and I’m definitely going for it.
As they say, what doesn’t kill you only makes you stronger and wiser. I believe that becoming a better version of me will affect other areas of my life. I have neglected some areas of my life because I thought I wasn’t good enough for those roles but then, they were all based on speculations, I never really tried them. Now, I’m going to try it and also try not to fail at it as well because I know I won’t fail as long as I keep trying.
Big thanks to the judge @priyanarc for this week for suggesting this thought-provoking question. It was a process of self-discovery for me writing this piece. And as you’d guess, this is my entry to the LOH contest week #215.
