Be The Ears That Listen, Mind That Understands, Heart That Empathize, And Voice That Encourage (LoH100)

in #hive-1244522 years ago

September 22, 2022

The sun couldn't seem to be found as I felt like it was all dark. Nothing else but sadness, emptiness, and hopelessness. Happy things around me were ignored, and sadness was allowed to submerge in me. I was demotivated to pursue things despite getting encouragement. The achievements of others were hated, and my mind became toxic. Life for me was nothing but useless and helpless.

Image by Kristina Tripkovic from Unsplash

I felt like I was a lost sheep that needed to pasture back to my fold. I could no longer think straight, but I was rather discouraged, disappointed, and frustrated. Anxiety took over my system. I was depressed that I even thought of ending my life. Burdens seemed heavier and heavier that I could no longer lift. The health aspect was compromised. I just want to end everything. In the darkness and emptiness, I might find peace. That's how I thought.

You wouldn't feel and understand it until you step in the same shoes. Until you become depressed and get lost in the dark.

3jpR3paJ37V8XPrHkfZdMtiM68fywBJwYt7EuhvpC9y91wCtmsFAPR2hd8YsciUbc22rVaeYHVLt8nmEF6BfW5nHAbc3DYnredGWnQqohdFE8L5sqSA7uaZNJ7v5tCba3VHPC.png

While reading different stories for the current LOH topics initiated by @trangbaby, they reminded me of those days I felt depressed, empty, alone, useless, hopeless, and helpless.

However, I was also reminded of how I get through the dark, how I was able to get back to the surface after being drowned, how I found the light again, and how I strengthened myself so the next time I suffer the same thing, it would be easier for me to get through it.

Do you know how to be an effective advocate for your beloved one or friend when they're dealing with a mental health issue? Do you know how to respond, and whom to contact for help? Have you ever been faced such a challenge?

Given that I've been through suffering and pain, it made me capable of dealing with such challenges, thus, capable of being an effective advocate for those who suffer the same.

Things are subjective. What is effective to me might not be to others. People are good at keeping emotions. We don't know what others are struggling with, so a broad understanding and consideration are necessary to avoid triggering anxiety and depression that someone might be dealing with.

3jpR3paJ37V8XPrHkfZdMtiM68fywBJwYt7EuhvpC9y91wCtmsFAPR2hd8YsciUbc22rVaeYHVLt8nmEF6BfW5nHAbc3DYnredGWnQqohdFE8L5sqSA7uaZNJ7v5tCba3VHPC.png

Be The Ears That Listen, Not That Ignore

Image by Külli Kittus from Unsplash

During those days that I felt helpless, I didn't like talking with others or sharing my feelings as I was worried about being misunderstood. But the fact is, I wanted someone beside me with whom I could vent out my emotions.

People with depression need this the most as they feel alone in an empty world. However, some tend to ignore those who are trying to release their emotions.

"Don't mind her. She's out of her mind."

Oh, sure they are out of their minds. Their words and emotions are being ignored. But the more they are ignored, the more they get an imbalanced state of mind.

Those were the times when I needed the presence of others. Someone who would let me feel that I am not alone and that there are people out there who are willing to listen to me. Someone who could at least help ease the sadness I was feeling. The ears that listen, not those that ignore.


Be The Mind That Understands, Not That Judge

Image by Sebastian Bill from Unsplash

The problem with this society is that people whom they think are out of their minds, or those suffering from unstable mental health are being judged and called crazy. Back when my mental health became unstable, I even thought of consulting a physician. Not because I felt crazy, but because they are those who truly understand such situations, not those who judge.

However, as I faced the room and looked at the title of the physician pinned on the door, "Psychiatrist", I, myself judged myself and asked, "Am I crazy? Why do I need to do this?" I backed out but came back a week after. However, nothing progress happened. I was worried about what other people would think about me once they saw me entering that room. Because not all understand. Not all have the same perspectives.

I never went back to that place again, and just dealt with this monster in my mind alone. I withstood the pain and sadness until I could no longer feel them. Until I got back to my whole self again.

Do you know how tough it is to deal with this kind of situation alone? You wouldn't know until you suffer the same.

The reason why others literally go crazy or even tend to suicide when under depression, is because they feel like no one understands them. They tend to deal with it alone because they fear being judged by judgemental people in this judgemental society. Some can handle it, but some tend to get lost in the dark.

It's the same sense when judging someone who made a mistake in the past and wasn't given a second chance. The tendency is that the person will repeat the same mistake. So if someone is depressed, not given attention, and misunderstood, the person tends to suffer depression all over again. Until he/she could no longer stand it, and would just opt to end everything.

No one else can help them but only us inside the society. We shouldn't conclude or call someone crazy just because of what we see. Be the mind that understands, not that judge.


Be The Heart That Empathizes, Not Just Sympathizes

If there is one thing I learned in this medical field, showing empathy works well more than just showing sympathy. These two are different that one must understand. Dealing with a person with depression is the same as dealing with an old patient with agitation.

Of course, it's easy to say,
"I understand you. I know what you feel. Just be strong, you can get through it."

Yet, some tend to fake their feelings just to show sympathy. But at the back of their minds, they would say, "this lady is going crazy."

Have you done that? Be real when you are showing your sympathy to someone dealing with depression. It's a serious thing, not a joke. What they truly need is empathy and compassion.

I remembered back when I was dealing with my agitated patient, it stressed me out, and I felt like I would be out of my mind as well. One thing our instructor told us when dealing with such a situation is to "put ourselves into one's shoes and learn how to get out of it with reassurance."

Image by Annie Spratt from Unsplash

Of course, understanding depression is important, but being in one's shoes and feeling what she/he truly feels matters more. This tweet illustration is a precise explanation of what I want to convey here.

1444207695339397123?s=20&t=Tmvb_4lT3Fd4m1EOwBcXdw twitter metadata:U2FyYWFscnVtaWtoYW5pfHxodHRwczovL3R3aXR0ZXIuY29tL1NhcmFhbHJ1bWlraGFuaS9zdGF0dXMvMTQ0NDIwNzY5NTMzOTM5NzEyMz9zPTIwJnQ9VG12Yl80bFQzRmQ0bTFFT3dCY1hkd3w= ~~~

Again, as I mentioned above, you wouldn't know until you suffer the same. So be the heart that empathizes, not just sympathizes.


Lastly,

Be The Voice That Encourages, Not That Discourages

It seems easy for others to judge those who seem crazy dealing with depression. Some even discourage them in this society. But people who suffer from depression need encouragement and more support, not discouragement. In fact, I didn't want to be pitied back when I was depressed, because I felt helpless and weak if people looked down on me or sympathized with me.

If there's a good thing that helped me defeat the monster in my mind and get through the dark, it was releasing my emotions and frustrations. Not just to anyone, God listens more.

Image by Dan Meyers from Unsplash

Yes, I did feel like a crazy one shedding tears while talking to myself alone in the dark, asking God why I needed to suffer this. But when I learned to let go of those emotions and found people who are willing to listen, I was relieved and felt lighter. And that's when I realized that, we are not alone in this world, there will always be someone who will understand and listen to us. Someone whom we can lean on. And to get through the dark, we have to seek the light.

Due to my fear of Him, I failed to end my life, rather, value it more. I mustered my strength to step into the light again, for the sake of my loved ones and dreams.

Blogging was my way of releasing my frustrations and emotions. I was grateful for having some people who listened to me and gave encouragement to keep going. Although I was judged by others for being honest with my emotions and feelings, that's inevitable. My determination to get back on track helped me get through it, and I didn't give a d*mn to those thinking negatively about my situation.

3jpR3paJ37V8XPrHkfZdMtiM68fywBJwYt7EuhvpC9y91wCtmsFAPR2hd8YsciUbc22rVaeYHVLt8nmEF6BfW5nHAbc3DYnredGWnQqohdFE8L5sqSA7uaZNJ7v5tCba3VHPC.png

So, being a person who suffered from depression and was able to get through it, I am encouraging not just the Ladies of Hive, but also those who are struggling to deal with it not to hesitate to speak out. Stop holding your emotions as they might eat you. Stop saying you are okay when deep inside you are struggling. Remember, never allow the monster in your mind to take over your life. And don't hesitate to seek help, because you are not alone. He is always there. He knows better than us.


I'm inviting @garrethgrey @eybyoung @princessbusayo to join and speak out.

FUkUE5bzkAZT3HzV5tJDiU2ik81PCd4JCyhWnRcDN8XJsVFY3UNB8DCXDhCdbKLssUZHyzgV8BMivE5JBKjj6Z1mXGKEa2poFtSmgk8UUkkrURjvkmRJDTSPWo525rjc3ZyuTfsicGv3jrGn5u45Mc3UzoYhkXFZRSLN.webp

20220809_221527_0000.png

Sort:  

I love your tips sis. Listen, Understand and Empathize. Thank you for sharing these, it will be really helpful !LADY

Thank you sis... As mentioned above, only those who've been there know well about how to deal with it. !LADY

You're very welcome sis and thank you :) Will keep these in mind for sure.

View or trade LOH tokens.


@jane1289, you successfully shared 0.1000 LOH with @ifarmgirl and you earned 0.1000 LOH as tips. (3/4 calls)

Use !LADY command to share LOH! More details available in this post.

View or trade LOH tokens.


@ifarmgirl, you successfully shared 0.1000 LOH with @jane1289 and you earned 0.1000 LOH as tips. (4/11 calls)

Use !LADY command to share LOH! More details available in this post.

These! All of these are on point madams, ans true di natin malalaman ang totoong nararamdaman nila if di pa natin naranasan. Kaya understanding talaga ang need nila ee. Wag maging judger kasi baka nga lalong mapasama, aigooo. Ang hirap pa naman kapag gsnito

Have you been there? Mahirap makalabas, lalo na kung ang iba ay dumadagdag lang sa dinaramdam..filter the words and actions. Because we don't know who are suffering from it. They might look normal, but deep inside, they are struggling.

Not that malala, more like mild depression, yong wala akong ibang ginawa kundi umiyak. And seriously, those negative thoughts, di sya basta basta maalis. It will really kill if I am just weak, good thing I am stronger than it. Pero di sya madalih maalis.

True. Yung tipong kung wala ginagawa bigla na lang matutulala tapus luha babagsak..kahit ung may ginagawa, puro nega papasok sa isip. D mo na lan alam ano gagawin kundi umiyak...
!LADY

View or trade LOH tokens.


@jane1289, you successfully shared 0.1000 LOH with @ruffatotmeee and you earned 0.1000 LOH as tips. (4/4 calls)

Use !LADY command to share LOH! More details available in this post.

Yay! 🤗
Your content has been boosted with Ecency Points, by @jane1289.
Use Ecency daily to boost your growth on platform!

Support Ecency
Vote for new Proposal
Delegate HP and earn more

Thank you 😊

I am happy to find this new @jane1289 on my way, one more brave and experienced enough to help whoever is where she was. 😘

And take care on your way 😊

image.png

View or trade LOH tokens.


@jane1289, You have received 2.0000 LOH for posting in Ladies of Hive. We believe that you should be rewarded for the time and effort spent in creating articles. The goal is to encourage token holders to accumulate and hodl LOH tokens over a long period of time.

i really love all things that you mentioned Miss Jane 😍 These are great reminders for all of us;what a great message indeed.

Thank you..that's what we need here.. Some reminders and advice..

PIZZA!

PIZZA Holders sent $PIZZA tips in this post's comments:
@jane1289(1/5) tipped @trangbaby (x1)
jane1289 tipped zara-dee-first (x1)

Learn more at https://hive.pizza.

So pity I read this Contest late busy kasi ako kakasulat sa test post haha next time na lang..

A person who undergo depression just need someone who are willing to listen without saying anything..just be there without any advice or judgement. That's how I overcome all of my trauma's and everything painful, isa lang talaga yung taong nagtiwala at nakinig sakin..yung asawa ko ngayon.. kaya thankful talaga ako kasi kung wla sya di ko alam baka napariwara na rin ako.

The world is already cruel and seem to be full of negativities, so be that someone who raises a flag of positivity, kindness, and love. Ganda ng message ate. I love it! 🥺

Thanks !LADY and yun na nga, wag maging nega, instead mapag unawa and think rationally. Daming Marites din na pinapairal ang bibig kesa utak..

View or trade LOH tokens.


@jane1289, you successfully shared 0.1000 LOH with @charmingcherry and you earned 0.1000 LOH as tips. (1/4 calls)

Use !LADY command to share LOH! More details available in this post.

Congratulations @jane1289! You have completed the following achievement on the Hive blockchain and have been rewarded with new badge(s):

You received more than 30000 upvotes.
Your next target is to reach 35000 upvotes.

You can view your badges on your board and compare yourself to others in the Ranking
If you no longer want to receive notifications, reply to this comment with the word STOP

Do you know how to be an effective advocate for your beloved one or friend when they're dealing with a mental health issue? Do you know how to respond, and whom to contact for help? Have you ever faced such a challenge?

Yeah, I have been faced with a challenge like that. It was devastating to see someone I care about go through so much pain and depression. At first, I didn't know what to say or how to comfort the person but all I could do was give the person whatever she wanted at that moment cause I felt that was the only way I could show my support and concern.

That's really the only way..to let her feel that she isn't alone in the battle. How is she now?
!LADY

I must say she's doing well cause the last time we spoke she sounded jovial and initiated an outing.

View or trade LOH tokens.


@jane1289, you successfully shared 0.1000 LOH with @jachy and you earned 0.1000 LOH as tips. (2/4 calls)

Use !LADY command to share LOH! More details available in this post.

Depression is a real thing and it’s sad when I see a lot of mean people be mean to others.

Ever since I almost lost a very close friend to suicide, I made a conscious effort to read more on depression and always be the voice that listens and encourages and not be quick to judge.

The world is already cruel and hard enough for us humans, as there are many challenges we face on a daily. It’s left to us to take it upon ourselves to be more kind to people as you don’t know what silent battles they’re fighting.

It’s a good thing you’re in a better head space and I hope you’re even happier moving on💗

Some humans are so cruel not to understand what people go through. I still struggle with sadness, depression and loneliness sometimes and people tell my Grammy to do away with me that I'm of no use but she's been kind enough to understand when I want to be left alone. If only there type of people could walk a mile in another person's shoes, then they'll know where it pinches and learn to be kind because it's not easy to go through a lot and also try to be there for someone else.

Sorry to know that...you know how it feels, so you will know how to get through it.. Just remember, appreciate your life, and never waste it. Stay strong !LADY !PIZZA

You have already used the number of tips you had for the day. Please try again tomorrow or buy more LOH tokens to send more tips.

Thanks for the kind words. You're a sweet soul and I really appreciate it.

Welcome

Great entry, as always Jane

Be The Heart That Empathizes, Not Just Sympathizes

I love this saying Jane.

Both sound similar but actually different. People tend to feel more comfortable when someone shows them empathy rather than sympathy. Empathy is the ability to understand and share the feelings of another. It is a way to connect with someone on a deeper level. When we show empathy, we are able to see the world from their perspective and offer them our support. :)

you wouldn't know until you suffer the same

Yes, I totally agree.

No one knows what it feels like to suffer until they have gone through the same pain. It is an experience that is hard to put into words, and even harder to understand unless they have been through it themselves.

When we are in the moment, all we can think about is the pain and how to make it stop. But afterwards, when it is over, we realize that there is something to be learned from suffering. It changes us, and makes us stronger. Like you said "how I strengthened myself so the next time I suffer the same thing, it would be easier for me to get through it."

Thanks for the entry !LADY

View or trade LOH tokens.


@trangbaby, you successfully shared 0.1000 LOH with @jane1289 and you earned 0.1000 LOH as tips. (1/8 calls)

Use !LADY command to share LOH! More details available in this post.

Thank you.
We've been through a lot of challenges but I must say that this is kind of the toughest because your inner self is your best enemy and often hard to deal with it alone. I guess if I didn't fear God and worried about my mother and siblings, I wouldn't be here right now. They were actually the ones who saved me from the dark.

!LADY !LUV !PIZZA
I hope I still have some 🤭

View or trade LOH tokens.


@jane1289, you successfully shared 0.1000 LOH with @trangbaby and you earned 0.1000 LOH as tips. (1/4 calls)

Use !LADY command to share LOH! More details available in this post.