Fleets of Bliss

in #hive-124452last month

It was kind of amusing to me when I asked Google to define happiness to me in simple terms and it defined it as that feeling that comes over you when you know life is good and you can’t help but smile. I mean this definition alone made me smile because I had to reflect on how true that statement was. And this week’s question from Ladies of Hive had me reflecting a lot.

Do you believe that we are happier today, than we were in times gone by? What brings true happiness and how important is it to you, to pursue it?

And to begin this, I like to call myself a happy person. Because simple things make me happy. Like finding the particular brand of lip gloss I use at the store and not having to hear that it was out of stock. Or when I get several compliments that I look pretty. Or I ace my test or write a particular thrilling story that I feel satisfied with even before I post it and hear what people think about it.

I’m saying all of these because I think happiness is fleeting. Momentary. And maybe that’s why Google quantified happiness with smiling. When nice things happy to me and I get so happy on the inside, it doesn’t transform to a smile on the outside. Yet, I'm happy. Because happiness today is gotten from the simplest things yet it is transient and short-lived because maybe they aren't as simple as we think?

I love listening to my parents' stories. One thing you would hear in abundance in almost every African household is stories of old. At dinner time or when the whole family is just relaxing, Mom or Dad will launch into tales of their childhood. Of things that made them happy back then. Like Dad, getting a new jam on his mixtape from abroad, so he could play it with his large cassette-radio for his friends on Friday nights.

Mom's happiness was getting home from boarding school back then and scrubbing their thatched hut till it shone. Doing all of that in time, so she could join other ladies her age later on in the evening to dance under the moonlight, to the village drummers beating their drums in a frenzy, while she kept an eye on her younger siblings who were playing with their own peers in the corner and ensuring they didn’t get into mischief.

I want to advocate for the blessings of today. I want to advocate for the happiness that surrounds today, so bad. But I just can’t. Cause they really were happy. Happy in the way that isn’t as fleeting as now. I like to believe that their happiness lasted longer. It wasn’t fuelled by the dopamine rush of money and drugs and sex and alcohol. I’m not saying these things weren’t there then. But it wasn’t so soul-eating and definitely not as idolized as now. It wasn’t punishment. Neither was it so transactional.

I want to advocate that today is happier, but not when the highlights of my Grandma’s day was getting the perfect calligraphic writings of her pen pal’s letter and clapping that it made its way to her faster than the former three months it took and that this time, it only took two months and twenty seven days. The happiness was almost similar to true bliss and joy then. It wasn’t so short-lived. Wasn’t so complicated.

Happiness today feels so complex, and in a way, so selfish. That even with how simple we think it is, it mostly revolves around me, me, and me again. And no, I’m not saying that you shouldn’t love or care for yourself enough. I’m one of the biggest advocates of self-care even though I don’t remember to do same for myself so often. But then, what if that’s why it doesn’t last? Because it’s tied to my fulfilment and gratification? What if it would last longer if it was more communal in nature? The people, the sights, and acts of service we do to those around us.

What if they were happier in times gone by because their happiness wasn’t tied to so many shallow things? Because their happiness was more rooted in things that were real? And what is even real? Theirs were the simple kinds of endearment, wrapped with genuine care and patience. The presence and rush of social media has completely robbed us of patience. On social media, do you notice that you only need three seconds to gauge whether or not you’re interested in something or will find it exciting? Unless there’s an info in the beginning to wait for something ahead, most of us are too impatient to wait and see? We're in this huge rush that we can't stop. Too busy to see. Or even to breathe, let alone live.

So, yeah, I feel it was happier then. But how can we find happiness now? Or at least what brings me happiness? Like I said, it’s fleeting. So what made me happy three months ago is definitely not what makes me happy now. I was so bent on chasing my happiness that I got selfish in times past. Thinking that if I focused on me enough, I’d be able to give same to others. But currently, doing that for others is what brings my happiness. Like letting the old lady take my place on the queue and shifting to the other seat, so two friends can sit together.

I don’t know. I’m no saint now. But I’m honest enough to tell myself that I’m exploring a lot of other options that I didn’t use to in search for true happiness. Maybe not like those of old. But something close to it, perhaps?

Jhymi🖤


Images are mine.

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Curated by grindan

I've always held on to the belief that the ability to perform acts of service for others is a gift we are given. Many parts of your post highlight how the popularity of looking in have taken away our ability to see the outward beauty of connection, consideration... Especially in these modern times! I really enjoyed this read 💚

I'd totally agree that humanity in general enjoys more happiness when things are simple... I often think on how much different my childhood (in the 90's) was so vastly different from the one my children have now. It's easy to forget in this fast-paced world that things like a new song or a sparkling clean home are magic, even if they provide little to no external validation or value. The experience of experiences has changed, but only if we let it.

You're right. Only if we let it. Because we can choose to do things differently. Choose the exhilarating experience of true connection by way of kindness and acts of service. So beautiful that you could relate to this, Gee. I do hope you're well, and it's lovely to see you around. Hope you have a beautiful week ahead, friend.💜🥰

Sometimes, we find true happiness in little things that we do. There was a time I told myself that it's high time I really look into self care, face myself and think less of others for a while BECAUSE it was just getting too much..lol. Doing a lot on myself really made me happy but I discovered that the moment I put a smile on another persons face...the happiness is always unusual. So u see, what makes people happy differs. Just find out and stick with it... happiness is vital for our well being , always
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Happiness is essential to our existence and we've just got to find the many ways we can bring this to ourselves. Thank you, lovely Nkem. It's always a pleasure having you around.🌺

Happy is a great gift 🎁

It truly is.🌺

I love the questions you bring up here. Life certainly was a lot simpler in the past, not easier nut definitely less complicated and people were more connected or deep rooted to a more natural way of life.
And yes to happiness being fleeting. Great response @jhymi xxx

That's exactly it. And I'm glad you resonated with this. Thank you for reading. I enjoyed writing as well.🌺✨

Indeed @jhymi the power of marketing with social media is a powerful institution that feeds and preys on our desires and weaknesses promising the quick fix for our needs and perceived needs, relentless in it's pursuit, devours our emotions, cheapens our relationships and distorts our expectations.
We have to keep our feet on the ground and understand that we have to maintain our rational thinking before we turn on our phones and computers and remind ourselves what things are most important.
❤️

And the things that are most important are the people and experiences in front of us, the connections and the memories we make. Glad to see that you resonated with this post. Thank you for this heart-warming comment, @kerrislravenhill and I hope you have the most beautiful week ahead.🥰