We parted our mouths, lips slightly parted and noses as close together as our bodies. His warm breath sent an electrifying current across my flushed skin, eager for his touch.
- Do you really have to go? I asked, restless fingers twisting her scarf. The scarf she had made for him last Christmas.
I felt the palm of her hand pass superficially from the crown of my head, to wrap one of her delicate fingers around a lock of hair and place it behind my ear; His fingertips slid up my cheek, turning the skin beneath them pink.
-I must do it... - he replied, without getting angry, his eyes looking straight into mine -, if I want to see you next year.
He gently held my face, and approached me to plant another delicate kiss, which I reciprocated and extended. It was still awkward with contact, but it didn't bother me; it was that kind of permanent charm that made me melt into his arms like hot chocolate.
- Is it okay that you continue to be with me? - I finally said, hesitantly, breaking the hug in which we had wrapped ourselves as soon as we saw each other.
-There will be no problem, as long as the agent knows where I am.
And, as was the custom, without letting her hand leave my elbow, she extracted a medium-quality phone from her bag, and checked the voice mail with avid green eyes. I hid my lips and looked away; guilt gnawed at me.
When Zachary told me that he had returned to the city after 8 months of absence, the fever of the emotion of seeing him again had risen so much that when we finally saw each other face to face, I threw myself into his arms with no other desire than to kiss him and remember the warmth that emanated.
But the happy moment had already passed. Standing face to face, wrapped in our winter clothes, under the waning light of the park lantern where in the spring we confessed our feelings for each other, I had to put the same feelings to the test. Now.
-What's happening? He noticed the wrinkle on my forehead. He didn't like it when the wrinkle formed on my forehead.
Take a breath.
-Is it true what Zoe told me... that if you do well in Chile, you will immediately travel to Buenos Aires and go on to audition for the University of Arts to join the scholarship program?
His mouth opened and closed, searching for the right words.
-Who told you that?
-So is it true?
It was his turn to look away, towards a snowman behind the fence being put together by a puppy. He moistened his lips; He made as if to take my hands in his, but I buried them inside my own jacket.
"It was a secret," he ended up saying.
-It's not so secret if Zoe is your agent and my mom's friend.
-It's true.
He cocked his head, defeated. He was very bad at lying; That was another of the things that made me fall in love with him: his feet playing with the floor while his cheeks swelled with impatience; he made adorable faces when they found out his secrets.
-I didn't want to worry you and it wasn't safe…
"Did you expect to tell me when you got one foot on the plane?"
-N-No! It is just that…
Again at the same point. The idea has been going around in my head for weeks, since his agent, Zoe, mentioned that Zachary had more potential than I imagined, but it was necessary to polish his talent with the best instructors, and that Zack himself, will focus, breathe , and think only about music. Zero distractions; and I was a very big distraction.
Zachary had worked harder than anyone in his family to pursue his project of being a musician; Since I was a child, I tried to attend all his presentations and support him on his travels, but for some time now, after his participation in a talent show the previous year, thinking about going out made me contemplate the possibility that he was not the best. time to start a relationship. It was not going to harm what he fought so hard for.
"Listen, Zachary, when I asked you if it was okay for you to stay with me… I-"
I didn't want to do this like this...
I bit my tongue. "Wow, so we had thought the same thing." My hands started to sweat and my legs felt like jelly, soft and unstable. I felt more clearly the cold winter that surrounded me. I tried to order my train of thought; I had to say something logical, but without sounding insensitive about our breakup.
