Yesterday, I had a good chat with my friend and discussed budgeting.
It's so funny how we two have the same problem as a wife. She loves to go shopping, while her husband wants to save money. That's me and my hubby as well. I always get tempted to buy necessary or unnecessary things whenever I have money.
While my hubby prioritizes everything and buys just the important things to budget the money well. That's us before, but now that we're trying and mastering how to budget money properly... I think it's time for me to share what we did and how we helped each other to change the bad budgeting habits.
Communication is the key
If there's a problem, there's comes to a solution.
Sometimes spouse makes their own decision without consulting each other, like buying stuff, spending, making a debt, etc. Being married means you're a team. So the problem with money is not just a problem for your husband, but a problem for you as a couple.
After you get married, it's important to view your money, as the money of your family. Avoid being selfish, especially if both of you have work. Sometimes, there comes an inclination that you keep your money for yourself knowing he has his own money as well. If you keep being like that, it's like you're living with a housemate.
So here comes the communication. Learn to speak up, about how those salaries must be spent.
Our experience
Hubby and I decided to swap roles on who would take charge of budgeting after we realized that I was not good at it. At first, I was the one budgeting our money, knowing that it's a wife's role, (isn't it?) He's just supporting me and reminding me how to do it properly, without snatching that "role" on me. That's the time I can buy things that I just want, not need. That's favorable for me because I love shopping and I can spend any time I want.
So he noticed it and started to open up to me regarding that matter.
After the communication
- He got angry, and I too, as I'm defensive that I'm not that kind of person, even though he can clearly explain to me the situation that we're into.
- I understand how patient he is with me, that he waited for that time when he's going to burst out of anger if he won't open up.
- Even though I was in denial, I understood how good he was at budgeting money that I surrendered that night, and claimed that I should give to him the role of budgeting.
- And that's the start that we're working as a team. He's the one budgeting now, and I'm supporting him in the way he wants it.
That night when he opened up about how the budget goes when I was the one holding the money, I was like... "So the money spent just like that?" He listed everything that I bought, then summed it up, knowing I bought everything that was not needed.
I was so shy after it. Why did I deny it when he had all the lists? Then that's the time I accepted that money talks should be an open communication between husbands and wives. As my other half.
He makes me feel that he's my teammate, not an enemy when it comes to money.
What I learned after the open communication
Since money can be a big problem for all families out there, viewing your husband as a teammate is a great solution. Learn to understand his words, before making an excuse. Hear what he said, instead of denying. Work as a team. Talk about how you will solve the problem, and do as you decide.
Money is just money. The most important thing here is how you respect each other and maintain the marriage out of that problem.
How are we now?
Now that we have learned how to solve our problems with money, we started to trust each other more. It's true sometimes I get back on my bad habit of buying unnecessary things, but it lessens at least. Now I consult with him if ever I want to buy things that I think I need, but after he helps me realize, I don't need them. I just want them. We were a team that helps each other to be a good person.
At the moment, we're more open about money matters. We only have one goal in budgeting and that's buying more important things. I avoided buying unnecessary stuff that could just waste our money. But of course, he considered things that I just want sometimes. I felt like I was smart about how to spend now. And I can understand now what family money means.
Disclaimer: Images were from Unsplash and Pexels.
