Contest questions for @Ladiesofhive community this week are:
1️⃣ When was the first time you said, “I love you” to someone in your life other than family?
And tell us what your 'love language' is?
~ 𝐀𝐍𝐃 / 𝐎𝐑 ~
2️⃣ What are some personal boundaries that you feel are important to uphold in a relationship? And what are your feelings around independence and togetherness in a relationship?
For the question no 1 answer, it takes me back in time, a long time back, when I was in my teens and I had my first crush. We studied together in the same University and came close to each other. Sadly the relationship was very short lived, just for 3 months and then he had crush on some another girl. He was that Casanova type and I was of the type who had already dreamed a life time with him. It was to him that for the very first time I had said "I Love you." Even though it was a short affair but it took me a very long time to get out of it. When I had met my husband later on and we had started dating each other, I had told him everything about it, because I was very strongly emotionally and mentally connected with that boy.
Hubby was very understanding and he told me, take your time to heal, and that's where I knew that he was the man of my life and had loads of respect for him, which goes on till now. Well, for the boy later on in life he did apologize me for what he had done and till date we are good friends and we laugh at those times now, thinking how immature we were.
I did check out the link shared to understand the Love language. Going as per that, my language is all 5, and most important ones from it are the physical touch and quality time. When I step out with my hubby to any place, we always hold hands and walk. When he comes home from work we hug each other, and before any one of us steps out of home alone, we kiss each other and step out. These things we do not even have to remember to do it, they just happen by themselves out of habit.
We are both very social people and most of times we are with our friends over the weekend, but we ensure that one day in a week, which is ideally Saturday we spend to ourselves by doing things that we both enjoy, like going for a movie, or a dinner, or just to the beach for a walk. Also during the day after work we sit together and spend some time talking about work and each other's day. That's what keeps us going. Our friends tell us that even after 30 years of marriage we are like Love Birds who are recently married. I like his presence around me and I feel safe with he being around.
Coming to the personal boundaries in a relationship, I feel giving space to one another is the most important thing. We both have our set of friends, some common and some individual, and there are times when we like to spend time just by ourself with them, we do not stop each other from doing that. I enjoy going to clubs with my friends and he does not enjoy that much, but he never stops me. He enjoys sitting at home with his friends, so then I give him that space. There are times when we want to do solo holidays and we give that space to each other. Even when it comes to finances, we do not question each other on our spendings. We are both mindful about our savings and our financial goals so we know that we are not going to do any reckless spending, we give each other that space to use our own finances in the way we desire. For all of this the most important factor we have towards each other is trust.
Having this freedom of using our time and finances has been a strong character in our relation. There are times when I go out with my friends for shopping and if there is something expensive to buy they call up their husbands to check if they can buy or not. That's the time when I really feel empowered, because I do not have to do that to make decisions, if by any chance I would call him up, he would say, use your own judgement, you are not a child.
Having talked about freedom and empowerment, it all comes with trust. So while we have not set any personal boundaries for each other, all of it happens with love, faith and trust towards each other. All of it has happened because we have found a friend in each other, we are just not husband and wife but we are each other's friend also. We discuss everything under the roof by trying to be nonjudgmental towards each other.
Thank you for visiting my blog. 👼🏻👼🏻💖💖🌹🌺🌸
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