I am the kind of person who quickly gets discouraged and gives up whenever I am embarrassed, especially in public. I used to feel, instead of insulting me in the presence of people, why not do it in private so I can learn from my mistakes? I am an emotional person and it won't be long before you see tears rolled down my eyes after trying not to let them drop down. It used to pain me when I fail someone and when I don't meet up with someone's expectations of me. It makes me feel that I didn't do what I was supposed to do.
No one wants to fail in life. We all want to do it right and boom it clicks. No one wants to face that embarrassing moment and feel ashamed of themselves. No one wants to be insulted in public. No one wants to be called a failure or incapable of doing anything. We just want to be praised for a job well done. We want to be celebrated and that is human nature for us.
I have received countless insults from my aunt and only a few appraisals from her when I was living with her. She would have embarrassed me even in public for most of 8 out of 10 per cent while the other 2 would be to appreciate my effort and when she does this, she would say, "You can see that I appreciate you for what you did good and not only when you do something bad" I would smile faintly and nod my head in the affirmation to agree with her but I only know what I have faced in her hands.
There are lots of ways that I have failed in the past and one of them is the financial aspect. Unconsciously, I still think about it and would bite my finger for the mistakes I made some years ago and would blame myself for failing to do the right thing then perhaps my life would have been better than where I am.
Whenever I see people of my age or those I am older than doing well than me, I feel regretful for not taking that step of saving when I had the chance because I was busy spending impulsively and wouldn't take time to make decisions before purchasing anything, and by the time I get home, I feel so stupid taking that step to get it because I would realize I don't need those stuff at that moment.
When I sit down to calculate what I could have made if I was wise then, it would do a lot for me than now.
With this thought, I feel so sad and disappointed and would conclude that I have failed myself in that area. It took me a while to finally let go and free myself from self-guilt and learn from my mistakes and those things I failed at.
There was a story of a man who made so much money, can't remember the amount, he lost it due to a mistake and when he was asked if he was pained, he said no because he was the one who worked and got that money, so, he hasn't forgotten how he made such an amount. He would make it back. Another man is the one who invented the electric bulb (Thomas Edison), he made 999 mistakes until he got it right the 1,000th time.
Sometimes, I ask myself how he was able to do it and not give up. How he never got discouraged but believed he could make it. But he and other people who have made it today have taught me that failure is part of life. To be successful, you have to fail several times. The beauty is not in the success you have achieved, it is in the lessons you have garnered while failing along the way.
Today, I don't feel bad when I fail again because I have learnt that it is normal to fail, but we must get up and keep trying. We cannot know everything at once, so, failure gives room for improvement and learning more tips, hacks, methods etc on the journey. I keep asking questions online and from people because I believe that affliction shall not arise a second time.
My failure in saving in the past has taught me a great lesson today that I do not want the mistake to repeat itself. I have learnt some things about financial management, the wisdom and principles of financial stability and ways to avoid letting money control me instead of being in control.
Failure will always show up but we must embrace it. When we do, it allows us to be patient to learn something we didn't know before while making sure we do not make the same mistakes and while at it, we improve and add to our knowledge. When we fail and stand up, we gain a new experience than when we do not take another chance to become better.
This is my entry to the LOH #200 prompt of the week which can be found here
All images are mine
Thanks for your time reading. Looking forward to your interaction.
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