There are things in our lives, that can really hold us back in life. Learnt behaviors, passed down from our ancestors, as well as certain attitudes we have. The circumstances that we are born into and the many experiences that shape us, all play a part.
I like to think of life, as being our journey, a journey where we get to discover the many ways in which we can empower ourselves. Helping us to become, helping us to create, the person we wish to be.
All of these things are wonderful opportunities for learning and growth. But first, we need to learn how to identify them and then we can begin to understand them. From there, we can begin to heal, to transform ourselves.
This week, The Ladies Of Hive Community, have asked the following question
What challenges do you find difficult in innovation or propelling yourself forward? How do you plan overcoming them, through emotional ("what drives you"), instrumental (good advice, talent), informational (consulting, marketing, teaching), or accountability (listening to the market, acting upon suggestions) support?
Learning to ask for help. This is something, that I have always struggled with, I find it really difficult to ask for assistance. I always over think it and end up turning it into such a huge deal.
I remember as a child, how scared I was to ask anything of my parents. It didn't help that I was actually very fearful of them to begin with. I really went out of my way, to try and ensure that I never upset them. My fear of them both, especially my father ran deep.
And for good reason too.
We carry so much with us, from our childhood, it forms the basics of our coping strategies and shapes how we see the world. It's not easy to move out of a place of fear, when you spend your early years feeling unsafe in your own home.
But it is not impossible and I am proud of how far I have come.
My confidence has grown so much and I am able to look back at my life and recognise how it has helped me to actually see the world for what it is. A place full of both light and darkness.
But asking for help does not come easy.
When I left home at 18, I was determined to prove that I could survive on my own, to prove that I didn't need anyone else. And that is something I have certainly achieved.
Miss independent I was and still am. But there is a great strength to be had in asking for help as well.
I know that part of it is stubbornness, but there is still a part of me that feels unworthy. That is perhaps what I struggle with the most. Like I said earlier, something's are very deep rooted within us.
I have been working on this for many years now and although I still struggle with it, I do eventually ask in the end. It's taken a lot of emotional work on my part. Time spend sitting with myself and taking note of certain thought patterns that arise. Revisiting different incidents with my parents, the most profound was during a Family Constellation session, that I took part in last year.
I do this work for myself, to improve myself and to help me achieve all that I want in life. But also, I do this for my children, because one of the greatest gifts I can give them, is my own healing. To be an example on how the way that we think, dictates our lives.
