Hi fellow Hiveians,

Today I wanted to talk about how sometimes we can get into a little bit of a rut in terms of habits!

Down the Hatch

I recently fell into a bit of an alcohol rut! I realized that wine affected me a lot less than beer or liquor did in terms of sleep issues. Sleep issues was the main reason I stayed away from alcohol for a while. Not having the sleep issues with wine though, I ended up drinking a bit too much of it, and felt myself getting a bit addicted! Yikes!

I think we all have a different idea of how we are versus what happens in reality. For me, that meant thinking I could handle something better than I actually did, and that's definitely eye opening! I felt like I had a lot more self control to not have a drink of alcohol for 2 or 3 nights in a row and then be able to control it and not need to do it for more nights.

To be clear though, I was not getting drunk. I wonder if that's how it starts though, an alcohol addiction? I would drink a glass or two of wine and get to feeling in a "good" spot where I could do whatever I wanted (not driving though, there was no need to risk getting behind the wheel even if I "felt" fine! That is stupid!) without being unstable, wobbly or passing out. I got accustomed to that feeling though, and I think that's where the challenge lies!

There is a lot of science out there that alcohol is one of the worst and most addicting substances that people can consume, and I can certainly attest to that! I thankfully have not drank in several days at this point, getting almost to a week and that's good. I think the issue I was having was self control for sure. It's a bit of a fascinating thing to think about in some ways - where we think we are better with something like this than we actually are. We don't realize the issue we are having until it's a bit too late.

I have several family members, as most likely everyone on the planet, that are or were alcoholics. Some are still alive, some have quit entirely, and many have died. Having this in my past and in my family, it is definitely important to recognize the signs and symptoms of it and most importantly identifying it! Alcoholism is a slippery slope that's for sure and I know I was not heading down the worst path of it, but slowly going in that direction if I didn't course correct.

I wonder if I jinxed myself earlier this year. I hadn't had a drop of alcohol in November of last year, and extended that into December and January so I was almost 3 months entirely sober. I wrote about it here and it certainly feels like I may have jinxed it LOL. I went down a different path than I thought I was but mostly because of the poor sleep I was getting.

Having gotten the sleep piece of it to affect me less, I was tempted! Is this the Sloth deadly sin? Gluttony? Whatever it is, I am definitely working on controlling it more. I think one of the factors for me is not having open containers of alcohol in the house for the moment. We have some bottles of wine, sure, but not having a bottle of whiskey or something like that seems to help. I have no open containers left, with plenty of wine bottles around, and I don't have an interest in partaking.

This has definitely been a good time for reflecting on how I thought I could handle myself when it comes to temptations. I guess I definitely have a lot of work to do on that front! I am hoping to get to a state where I go several more weeks, and then months without having drank any alcohol. Eventually I will exert the self control to only have a drink on a weekend, leaving the rest of the time without any consumption. One step at a time!

What about you, do you think that you have more self control than you actually end up having? In what way did you realize this? Let me know in the comments!

^-CmplXty. _{Real human written content, never AI. All pictures are mine unless otherwise stated}

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