Watching the stars this beautiful night, my mind wandered randomly and landed on a story my grandmother shared with me years back. Oh, how much I miss her!
Told me of a daughter's love to her father not being reciprocated.
Grand ma told me: In life we may not get exactly what we want which could be painful and disheartening. If it comes in another way, we should be grateful it did. If it doesn't come at all we devise a coping mechanism then re strategize and move on.
There's this natural bond between fathers and first daughters, it's normal to always see them get attached. Ariel's own was different. Naturally she loved her father not just the regular father and daughters love but the father and “first” daughter kind of love. He dad loved her though she doubted it. From Ariel's point of view, if her father ever loved her, he didn't have that special bond for her. It hurt her so much especially that he preferred her younger sister to her. He neglected and often shunned her when she (Ariel) tried to get close to him. He performed his fatherly duties such as paying her tuition fees and other footing other financial needs. The major thing Ariel craved, emotional relationship between she and her dad was not there. That void wasn't filled coupled with her father's negligence towards her which made matters worse
He would pick on her over little things often capitalizing on her wrongs.
Ariel's dad wasn't the kind to say much but the little he said hurt Ariel and gradually she developed a sour feeling towards him till she started rebelling at his orders unconsciously.
Let's pause for a while. Reflecting on this part of the story. See how genuine love turned sour, how the little things we do and think don't matter affect people. All of Ariel's effort to bond with her dad was turned down. He didn't just turn it down but made her feel neglected when all she wanted was Love. Emotional intelligence should be studied as a skill. There are ways to convey messages especially to a child, their hearts are tender and they read meaning to everything. They watch as though they're not watching and things like this leave long time or permanent negative prints in their heart and minds. Their minds are not mature to handle hurts and exposure to such will do damage to them in all ramifications.
Back to our story. Ariel began to think her dad wasn't biologically hers. I'm guessing you thought same too as you were reading but how could she not be his daughter when she possessed most of his physical features. She looked so much like him, her complexion, hair line and every facial feature was from him. Ariel grew up not liking her dad anymore but still couldn't place why he didn't get along with her. In all these the grace to not be jealous of her sister was sufficient. Not once did she feel jealous of her sister, in my words I'll say she channeled antipathy to the right direction, (towards her dad). She loved her sister as a big sister would love a kid sister and never felt ill towards her.
As Ariel grew older, she understood that we can't have all that we desire. She let go and accepted that she and her dad were never going to happen also she repented from being stubborn towards him. All that anger, she turned back to love but with no expectations this time and she has been at peace, no more inflicting punishment on herself.
See what Ariel did? She didn't allow the hurt rule her for long. She devised a coping mechanism till she was able to overcome. Most people capitalize on their parents wrongs holding them responsible for maybe a bad decision they made that affected them but the reality is our life is In our hands. There's always an opportunity to rewrite your story and make the best of anything you find yourself. Holding to grudges will only dull your shine because you're still in the past when you should be moving on looking for new ways.
Environment may hinder you from thriving to your full potential but I believe when there is a will there is a way. Somehow, you'll still emerge maybe not to the top but that self satisfaction that you didn't get buried in that situation and let it stop you from trying will always be there.
Thank you for stopping by❤️
All images are mine