Death resignifies the bonds. Death gives a new and deeper meaning to the affections. To see death as a rebirth of the affections that connect us with the transcendence of LOVE, the best and sweetest of consolations.

And so... From the ravenous night, I could not run away, but in it, I found the sweet candor of hope... Or the longing for it, maybe... my look.

I smile and am always grateful for every moment

I am of the belief that the gaze is the window through which the soul looks out. That's why children hypnotize me, fill me up, inspire me and constantly re-connect me with my soul. Before them, I can be absolutely and authentically naked.

Every time I look in the mirror, I contemplate my gaze that goes far beyond the eyes, the traces of the years on my skin... I recognize whether I can find myself... I have lived through times of darkness, internal and external, as when everything comes at once.

The "Master Life" has demanded I show her what I am made of, how many fruits I have harvested in my inner garden, and how much arid territory there is still inside of me. In that darkness I lost myself, I lost my gaze. Every moment in front of the mirror was a contemplation of my absence, a recognition of an intense pattern of struggle and survival. From a harsh winter. Fears, uncertainties, absences, emptiness, and dissatisfaction swarmed around every corner.

Today I celebrate having traveled through that darkness

After going through the worst moments with cancer one day I looked in the mirror and found myself, yes... there was my gaze, so my soul returned to the body. They say that the darkest moment of the night is the instant just before dawn. I can understand and comprehend this tense, arid, desert process, knowing that every desert takes me to an oasis where I will drink that water that calms my tired and exhausted soul.

My husband at those moments hugged me as tightly as so many times I hugged him in the silence, in the distance, with his smile, with his gaze, with our fears. Thank you to this passage of my life for allowing me to see myself as I am, a beautiful soul. It's time to let go, it's time to hug each other even more and to be generous and kinder to myself.

In those moments lived small outbreaks of love arise everywhere the family, the usual and the new... dear friends, inseparable friends, who steal smiles from me at every moment, divine families that feed my faith and hope in the new generations, nature and all its comfort...a warrior woman knows that a life without pains, without missing, without longing has an insignificant life.

I have to keep watering my secret garden, the one that only knows my inner voice

I still feel that I elaborate on the whole process and that I am still in the recovery phase. Many healthy routines have come up, gone, and I have experienced new disciplines. The more adverse the times, the greater the self-care I must have. My life after cancer changed so much that it would be difficult to explain it, but the important thing is that I am completely happy and praying every day for my well-being and that of everyone around me.

My relationship with my body goes through the awareness that he is “fragile”, he gets sick easily, strongly, and rudely, but it is very, very NOBLE. If I take care of him, he responds wonderfully well. From that AWARENESS, CONNECTION, AND CONFIDENCE I choose all my life habits, I cultivate constant self-care and at every level: food, mental hygiene, emotional-spiritual, social.

Transits of life that can overshadow this look of surviving

It is necessary to break the spell that the years bring bitterness and turn it into wisdom, softness, and tenderness... You have to look for desire, passion, libido, and the drive for life... Without a doubt, I will remember the 50th birthday as the most painful year of my life, but I will also say that beating cancer a few years ago woke me up from a time of darkness and despair to always bless me with that sweet, noble, kind essence of my being that at my 6 decades and more is healthy.

He is the temple of my being, my abode, my refuge, my support, my gaze. Where I lie down when everything weighs me down and the firmest shoulder holds me. Today, I ask for complete healing for my temple.

In the cover image a gift that my husband gave me at that time and I still keep among my treasures, ... are 7 chakras... that evoke me to that giant of love, humility, and the transcendence of earthly bonds to always listen to my emotions and open paths inside me, so that life flows. Thank you, thank you, thank you for all your love, for caring and valuing my life.