As we delve into the matter of empathy, compassion, understanding, and other such human behavior, we understand that one singular word alone cannot describe the whole spectrum of emotions that are present in human characteristics.
Discovering oneself, and the apprehension of human behavior is a never-ending search...
At present, I've been pondering the matter of empathy and compassion. And how there are different types of empathy and compassion. Simply put, some people do not have a single strand of empathy, then there are those with cognitive empathy and those with emotional empathy. There's also compassionate empathy which is a combination of both; which is probably the version of empathy that I have.
Of course, there's more to it, but I haven't dived in that deep yet.
To put it simply, some empaths can only understand you, see your struggles, and know what you're going through, but they can't feel it. Some couldn't even care less, but they probably will sit with you and listen to you yap for a while. Chances are they can't resonate with the other person's emotions, struggles, or feelings, simply because they themselves have never felt it at such a scale, which is why that struggle and story is alien to them. They may have their own struggles, of course, we all do, but it's just not anything similar to that exact experience.
The second kind is the emotional kind; sensitive, but only when it comes to a loved one, or an experience that invokes hurt or trauma. These are those people who have experienced a lot in their lifetime, usually someone much older. Yet, age alone does not dictate much, it's the series of experiences that they've all encountered in life; whether it be during childhood, our juvenile teenage years, or the extensive phase of burdensome adulthood.
Now, a bit of understanding and empathy is obviously better than none at all. But, no matter how traumatizing and gut-wrenching your story may be, not everyone is capable of feeling that hurt through just words and displayed emotion. A good way to spot someone who can understand and someone who cannot is through their reply and reaction. Someone who just understands, but can't feel, will probably start sharing an unpleasant story of their own. Some may listen partially, while they doom-scroll on their phones, some will lend you a shoulder to cry on, and a few will listen wholeheartedly, and then end it with an endearing and motivational speech.
I believe I am the latter, thanks to the hundreds of people I've known, understood, and have spent time with. Then there are the thousands I've either dealt with or have gotten to know through my work, behind the scenes handling different social media platforms and businesses. I am no psychiatrist or motivational speaker, but after countless conversations with such a vast number of people, you begin to understand a thing or two about human behavior.
I do try to listen, and hopefully suggest a solution that helps simmer the emotions. Yet, sometimes feeling so deeply about someone else's struggles can be pain-including. In fact, empathy to an extent can be a cause of burnout and be detrimental to someone's state of mind. Which I myself have felt on a few occasions.
Sometimes it does feel as if being stupid and ignorant would solve a lot of problems.
And that is how a favorite quote of mine goes...
"The trouble with the world is that the stupid are cocksure and the intelligent are full of doubt."
- Bertrand Russell
