How I overcame body Shaming and why I wore large dresses in the past.

in #hive-1279112 years ago

Hello Hive.

I grew up with quite an interesting belief that hunted me for years until I became civilized and exposed enough to understand and rescue myself from the situation.
The idea was that Slim people are suffering from illnesses that is why they cannot put on weight while chubby /thick persons are seen as healthy people in our society back then

Beauty is seen/perceived as when you are thick/chubby with big Butt and Bust 😁, complete figure 8 with a small/thin waist line.
While my Nigerian men see someone who is thick as been beautiful, the white folks oversea assume that it is the slimmer ladies that are beautiful, haha 🤓.
This was the idea planted in my heart.

I was slim of course and every effort made by my parents in terms of diet and all that to make me add some weight proved abortive.
Although I was managing a disorder but that was not the reason I was slim 😁. I have seen people of my kind been chubby and huge.

Then came the regime of body shaming, I felt bad about my looks, for a long time I would never look into the mirror, saw myself like a skeletons, all bones and no flesh 😁, my collar bones will be the first to say hello to friends and acquaintances even before I open my mouth to greet them, they were so obvious I couldn't hide them with some flesh and that made me hide in a shell for so long

Possible Solution.

After I joined the fashion world I came up with a potential solution, something I learnt from my boss @taimah.
She also had a small body build and would absolutely prefer to put on outfits very large like this one am wearing today.

Although she wasn't a victim of body shaming but she would always put on big dresses or baggy outfits to cover her body form and give her the "Big madam look"we all desire. Boss lady and bossy look 🙈🙈

I learnt that from her and thought that it was a cool idea to escape from body shaming.
But there was a limitation, I was never comfortable in those outfits.
I love to wear skimpy dresses and skirts, this hunted me for a while until the day I decided to accept my body the way it is.


There were times I added extra foam to my butts for enhancement,it is still a new trend in fashion.
We can sew an outfit and add extra butt and bust for you. Not everyone in a lovely party dress has that body form you see we have enhanced some of them with fibre and foam during the sewing of their outfits 🤣

Overcoming stigma like this is a thing of the mindset. You have to love yourself the way you are regardless of how people think or you perceive that they think of you.

A list of what am made of 🙈🤓😂

  • I have a small stature and will often look like a 20year old girl hmmm

  • Small body build
    With no big Butt or Bust 😁 Yahhhhhh

  • Tiny voice that speaks like a baby. 🤓

And all the qualities that make me look like one teenage girl, you have to look at me properly to guess my age or give me some respect accorded to an adult female.

None of those are my concerns now and if you see me in any big style dress henceforth it is just for fashion not that negative feelings I have nursed. I am happy with the way I am now and that I can stay much younger than all of you 🤣🤣🤣

Let me stay forever young.

I hope this post meets you well. Blessed Monday and beautiful new week to us all.

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Hehehe 😁 this makes me remember the body shaming I went through, even from men I once dated, telling me I look like skeleton and my body is full of bones whereas they are not perfect themselves. I have out grow that now, you try to body shame me I give it back to you. Just be you, those body shaming you wished they had your flat tummy 🤗

I totally understand dear.
Most especially the flat tummy part.
And we love ourselves the way we are.

That's it o

you brought up a very hot topic my dear! Indeed, different cultures have different attitudes towards what is beautiful. I like how this wide dress looks on you and I liked your previous outfits too. but you are right: it is important to be in harmony with yourself.

I'm glad you have found the key to be happy, accept yourself as you are, we are beautiful as we are, of course as long as it is not because of illness. Stereotypes are a very bad thing, they force us to please others even at the expense of ourselves and that does not give happiness.

Even so this sewing project looks super comfortable and you have been very nice, but if it is not your style do not use it and show off your body with what you like to wear. Very nice post my friend. Regards

Thanks dearie. Such beautiful and kind words from you.
I truly appreciate this.

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You're very appealing according to Asian beauty standards! 😄

Hahaha. 😂🤗😀😀

This is so funny but am glad that I fit a standard or Asian beauty.
Any makeup and embroidery I need to use?

The asian beauty standards are slim and youthful. No need makeup. You're beautiful just the way you are 🙂

While my Nigerian men see someone who is thick as been beautiful, the white folks oversea assume that it is the slimmer ladies that are beautiful,

Hehehehe Irony of life😂

Honestly this was so nice to read and I totally get you because I went through that phase and it was so hard to come out of it.

Oh am glad you understood my plight but it is a good thing that we have overcome all that now.

Thanks for stopping by dear.

You are most welcome !LUV

@monica-ene, @ibbtammy(3/3) sent you LUV. | tools | discord | community | HiveWiki | NFT | <>< daily

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The last slide should be done in a frame, this is a complete beauty, I love the gap teeth and your skin is glowing.

The world can never be satisfied with our look, we just need to develop self confidence and stand against all odds.

I'm excited you are developing self confidence and also got a solution to your outfits.
You are amazing dear, just continue to be yourself.

Awnnn... These are really touching and true, we don't have to bother about what the world thinks about us. thanks alot for te kind words dear 💕🌺💃

You are welcome dear

I really hate all those standars that exist everywhere around the world.
You are not thin enough, you are not juicy enough, you have small butt, you have cellulite, bla bla bla..
Everyone should be proud of themselves, feeling comfortable with their bodies and their appearance generaly. There is no right or wrong with those characteristics, everyone of us is beautiful in his special way and for a special reason.
Be comfortable and proud girl, have a nice day!😊

Thanks dearie.

We deserve love and be loved regardless of our appearances.
Thanks for the encouraging comment dear. 💕❤💖💃

Frank and straight from the heart. Being real means being yourself

That's right. 👌

Hello Monica. How incredible how the shape of the 'aesthetic body' changes from one culture to another. Where I live, thinness is also associated with beauty, and heavier people suffer from bodyshaming. I think your thinness looks good and it's true that you look very young, that's good haha. Any outfit will suit you ❤️. I like these baggy dresses, in fact they give the appearance of an important person. The fabric you used is very beautiful 😃.

And this is the most funny comments I have received.
Thanks dear, am glad you understand me.
May we all live and find happiness throughout our lifetime.
Amen..

You are beautiful dear, I even prefer being slim than chubby, after two kids, I don't look like I've dropped any yet because of my slim look and flat tummy.

By the way I love this bubu dress, for the day I feel like forming rich aunty vibes lol😂😂.

Sweet sixteen forever babe, rock it well.❤

I really love been slim bur I wan add small flesh shine.

Exactly oo.
And I used a very light material that is free and easy to carry.

Let me enjoy the rich aunty vibe for today. 💕😂😂

In my country it is the opposite if you are fat you are sick and you are not attractive at all, they give more importance to the physical, for me you look beautiful what is important is not what others think but what you think yourself.

Exactly.
Am glad that alot of us understand that now.
Thanks foe stopping by dear 💕

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