I had a phone call from a lad named Mark asking if I could make a piece of topiary for his company. With absolutely no experience in the matter, of course, I said yes. Chancers gotta chance. Mark said that his company was some sort of social media thingy and it had this iconic thumb symbol that all the cool kids understood. He wanted to have one on top of his office in London made out of living plants.
'No bother' said I and quickly ran off and researched how I would do it. Apparently, Topiary takes many years of pruning to form a bush into some sort of sculptural form. I ain't got time for that, neither did Mark. This was 2018 and his unicorn company was on the up and up but how long it would stay there was anybody's guess. Imagine if, God forbid, a Chinese competitor came along and robbed all its product.
I told him I would think of something to speed up the process and have it for him in a few weeks. Something that would last, a least as long as his company.
My idea was to make the main structure out of metal and then place plants inside to make it look the part.
Heavy metal
Bringing the icon to the third dimension was my first challenge. I started by making a bending former out of wood and metal pegs that I could bend mild steel bar around in the shape of the profile.
This worked surprisingly well with a little brute force. I welded the pieces together as I went. till it lined up with my pencil drawing.
On top of this I tack welded 3 inch welding mesh. This is a great material to work with as it is sold in large sheets that I could cut to size.
This gave the profiles lots of rigidity. I made the four pieces I needed for the sides like this.
Then I joined them together with lots more welding mesh to give it depth. This welding mesh matrix would form shelves inside which I could place the plants.
The mesh helped keep everything nice and square and I quickly had the whole thing filled out like some sort of cube structure. There is a copper coating on the mesh to stop it from oxidising or rusting as normal folk call it. I also made it look quite pretty.
It reminded me of some sort of computer model.
Hands like shovels
Why don't you wear gloves? You may ask. Surely the welding of hot metal and sharp edges had your hands in tatters? Well yes, but I hate wearing gloves because I lose a lot of dexterity.
There were many sharp edges to snag on which caused me to spring a few leaks but I love putting my blood, sweat and tears into everything I do. God gave us many spare fingers for a reason. Of course, after I was finished I filed everything down so Mark wouldn't catch his cardie or his delicate hands.
Finally, with a lot of f'in and blindin', I had the whole thing together. I even made a stand for it so it would have something to rest on and float above the ground. The whole thing was looking very solid.
There was many a long evening to get to this stage and it was cold in my studio. Our little stove gave some comfort.
My welding wasn't the best because my cheap mig welder kept jamming. Still, I got it done without having to invest in another welder and with a lick of paint I was sure all sins would be forgiven.
A lap of paint
I spray-painted everything with an undercoat and good-quality metal paint. It took a lot as most of it sprayed straight through. With all the nooks and crannies I figured spraying was the way to go making sure every angle was covered.
Mark also wanted some large planters for his roof so after all the metalwork work I was happy the get stuck into them. I'll talk about them in the next post.
Brass monkeys
Once everything was built a truck came and shipped it all to London. I got a flight over the next day to help with the installation.
It was bloody freezing on top of that skyscraper. Freezing wind and snow as I tried to put everything in place. The truck was delayed so I didn't get everything finished before my flight home but there were some local helpers I could hand over to once I gave instructions.
First I placed oasis in the center to fill the gaps. This would also hold water which the plants could drink from. The plants came in little pots which fit perfectly inside the welding mesh.
Trust me bro
As with several of my projects, I never got to see the final finish. I believe I did get an image and if I can track it down I will add it to this post.
Mark seemed very happy and he said he would give me a Like, whatever that meant. I told him I would prefer money and he kindly agreed. I have done some other projects for Mark over the years but unlike most of the people on his site I get him to pay me.
