Español:
Hola mis estimados hiver amigos de Holos&Lotus , estoy muy complacida de estar por aca por esta inspiradora comunidad dando mi apreciación sobre esta iniciativa de la amiga @damarysvibra, acerca de un tópico vital para la idónea interacción humana.
Hablar de amabilidad implica hablar de respeto, afecto, altruismo. Estos elementos hacen de una persona amable, una persona valiosa, agradable a los demás, estimada por su benevolencia y cualidad servicial.
En mis abuelos maternos, tuve un integro ejemplo de amabilidad y su polo opuesto. Mi abuelita Maria de Jesus, era la persona mas amable que uds pudieran imaginar, siempre cortes, educada, afectuosa y por demás servicial; que alguien llegara a su humilde hogar e irse sin tomarse por lo menos un café (asi fuese el de ella) no era una opción para ella. Su trato cariñoso, sublime, con esa sonrisa a flor de piel y siempre dispuesta a ayudar, la convirtieron en la mas querida de todos nosotros, vecinos y conocidos.
Mi abuelo Juan por el contrario, era de intransigente caracter, mal geniudo, poco cortés y afectuoso; los vecinos lo llamaban Juan Vicente Gomez y no comprendian como un ser tan amable como mi abuela, pudo casarse con el.
Su posicion contraria respecto a la amabilidad, generaban controversias entre ellos en el hogar. Mi abuelo detestaba las visitas, solo con la cara que les ponia al recibirlas incomodaba las personas; no faltaba el "ta voy de salida", aqui todo el mundo duerme o en el peor de los casos, cerrarles la puerta en las narices.
Mi abuela se queria morir cuando eso pasaba; igual con su paciencia y decoro exhortaba a mi abuelo a ser cortes y servicial, pero nunca logro su cometido. En los funerales de ambos se reflejaron las estadisticas de lo que ambos sembraron. En el de mi abuela, no cabían las personas consternadas por su deceso; en el de el, solo nosotros, sus familiares mas cercanos estuvimos alli hasta el final. Y muchos diran, ah eso ya muerto que importa; pero oye, pienso que es triste que tu legado no arroje numeros positivos
Respecto si somos amables por naturaleza, pues bien; algunos rasgos de la personalidad son heredados, como lis rasgos fisicos, el temperamento, la inteligencia; pero el caracter en su mayoria, es adquirido a través de nuestro aprendizaje en la interaccion social y ser amable a mi criterio, es cuestion de caracter.
En el hogar radica inculcar valores de amor al projimo, cortesia, bondad, respeto. Como les mencione, desde temprana edad vi los dos polos opuestos, gracias a Dios mi mama interiorizo los valores inculcados en mi amable abuela y esos fue los que desarrollo en su vida y a su vez, me los inculco a mi.
Esa es otra particularidad que tiene la amabilidad, ella causa efecto domino (en cadena) si tu eres amable, generalmente te corresponderan de la misma manera y en menos de lo que imaginas, estaras rodeada de personas amables derrochando afecto, consideracion y cortesia por doquier. Particularmente, u gesto amable, un cordial saludo o una simple sonrisa me han abierto las puertas y ventanas que no lo han hecho titulos profesionales, vestimenta, dinero; por dar un ejemplo.
Siempre me sorprendio la amabilidad de Oswaldo, mi difunto esposo. Cuando lo conoci yo iba a terapias de rehabilitacion por un accidente de transito que me dejo una discapacidad en la pierna derecha y el, estaba iendo al centro de rehabilitacion por un desgarre muscular. Quien me acompañaba a terapia era mi mama de 60 años para aquel entonces y cuando llegamos por primera vez en el taxi a la terapia, Oswaldo estaba afuera tomandose un café
Cuando nos vio llegar y vio a mi mama bregando para bajar la silla de ruedas, acomodarme etc (el taxista ni se bajo del carro) el solto su café y de inmediato le dijo:
"Le ayudo señora? Permitame por favor, yo hago todo para acomodar a la dama, tranquila no faltaba mas"
Y mi mama muy agradecida lo dejo actuar. A partir de ese y todos los dias, el se encargo no solo de bajarme del taxi y conducirme del consultorio de la terapia; sino que con su amabilidad para con nosotras se gano nuestra confianza y comenzo a buscarme a diario en casa para llevarme y traerme, mas que todo para fomentar el descanso en mi mama y mermara su trajin. Otro punto clave de ser amable, inspira confianza.
Lo sorprendente de Oswaldo, es que su estilo amable no solo fue conmigo, porque bien se podria interpretar que era amable por su interés por mi; sino porque el se convirtio en una mano amiga para todos los pacientes mas vulnerables que acudian a rehabilitacion y la estima que tod@s le tomaron fue abismal. De hecho, el termino sus terapias por su desgarre muscular y continuaba iendo al consultorio solo por seguir ayudando a las personas que lo requerian hasta que también les dieron de alta. Y asi fue desarrollando amabilidad hasta el ultimo de sus escasos dias
Como cultivar amabilidad?
Como dije anteriormente, para cultivar amabilidad tenemos que comenzar por nosotros mismos. En lo personal, antes de salir a la calle, procuro dejar en casa cualquier angustia o enojo que pueda tener; pues nadie afuera tiene la culpa de nuestras tribulaciones. En cualquier lugar y todo momento, me ejército en las normas de cortesia; buenos dias, buenas tardes, por favor, gracias; palabras magicas que en la buseta,ven algun comercio o por doquier, surten efecto muy positivo.
Otra arma especial aliada de la amabilidad es la cordial sonrisa, ella puede dar un giro de 360 grados a cualquier situacion adversa y reitero que es una llave maestra para abrir puertas.
También procuro hacer uso frecuente de la Asertividad; esa habilidad social que te permite expresar a los demas lo que sientes, sin causar molestias. Uso sustantivos adecuados como dama, caballero, señor(a), joven; evitando los seudonimos como mami, papi, mi amor, cariño; que no a todos les cae en gracia o pueda desencadenar la molestia de alguien.
"Para mi es un gusto ser amable, esa satisfaccion que se siente cuando alguien te dice
"Gracias, es ud muy amable, es algo indescriptible"
Por eso me ejercito en ser lo mas amable que pueda a diario con mis vecinos, amigos, conocidos y sobretodo, con el desconocido que es quien mas merece amabilidad para no limitarla solo a nuestros afectos
Con mi hija adolescente, le recalco enfaticamente y a diario lo respetuosa, lo educada, lo generosa que de debe ser con su projimo; ayudar a un anciano (a) a cruzar la calle, hablarles con respeto y consideracion a sus mayores y ayudar en la medida de sus posibilidades al necesitado, son valores que se han perdido en sociedad y siempre que podamos contribuir con su rescate, es imperante hacerlo.
Y con esta imagen representando digno acto amable me despido, esperando dar mi valor agregado a esta genial iniciativa. Invito a la hiver amiga @emily2021 a participar.
English
Hello my dear hiver friends from Holos&Lotus, I am very pleased to be here for this inspiring community giving my appreciation on this initiative of my friend @damarysvibra, about a vital topic for the ideal human interaction.
Talking about kindness implies talking about respect, affection, altruism. These elements make a kind person, a valuable person, pleasant to others, esteemed for his benevolence and helpful quality.
In my maternal grandparents, I had a complete example of kindness and its polar opposite. My grandmother Maria de Jesus was the kindest person you could imagine, always courteous, polite, affectionate and helpful; That someone came to her humble home and left without having at least one coffee (even if it was hers) was not an option for her. Her affectionate, sublime treatment, with that smile on the surface and always ready to help, made her the most beloved of all of us, neighbors and acquaintances.
My grandfather Juan, on the other hand, had an intransigent character, bad-tempered, not very courteous and affectionate; the neighbors called him Juan Vicente Gomez and they did not understand how a being as kind as my grandmother could marry him.
Their contrary position regarding kindness generated controversies between them at home. My grandfather hated visits, just with the face he put on them when receiving them he made people uncomfortable; there was no lack of "I'm on my way out", here everyone sleeps or in the worst case, slam the door in their faces.
My grandmother wanted to die when that happened; Even with his patience and decorum, he exhorted my grandfather to be courteous and helpful, but he never achieved his goal. In the funerals of both the statistics of what they sowed were reflected. In my grandmother's, there was no room for people dismayed by her death; in his, only us, his closest relatives were there until the end. Many will say and that matters after death? Hey, I think it's sad that your legacy doesn't show positive numbers.
Regarding if we are kind by nature, well fine; some personality traits are inherited, such as physical traits, temperament, intelligence; but the character for the most part is acquired through our learning in social interaction and to be kind, in my opinion, is a matter of character.
At home lies instilling values of love for others, courtesy, kindness, respect. As I mentioned, from an early age I saw the two poles of kindness, thank God my mother internalized the values instilled in my kind grandmother and those were the ones that she developed in her life and in turn, she instilled in me.
That is another particularity that kindness has, it causes a domino effect (in a chain) if you are kind, they will generally correspond to you in the same way and in less than you imagine, you will be surrounded by kind people wasting affection, consideration and courtesy everywhere . In particular, a kind gesture, a cordial greeting or a simple smile have opened doors and windows for me that professional titles, clothing, money have not; to give an example.
I was always surprised by the kindness of Oswaldo, my late husband. When I met him I was going to rehabilitation therapy for a traffic accident that left me with a disability in my right leg and he was going to the rehabilitation center for a muscle tear. The one who accompanied me to therapy was my 60-year-old mother at that time and when we first arrived in the taxi for therapy, Oswaldo was outside having a coffee
When he saw us arrive and saw my mom struggling to get out of the wheelchair, accommodate me, etc. (the taxi driver didn't even get out of the car) he dropped his coffee and immediately told her:
"Can I help you ma'am? Allow me please, I'll do everything to accommodate the lady, don't worry, that's all there is to it"
And my mother, very grateful, let him act. From that day on and every other day, he was in charge not only of getting me out of the taxi and driving me to the therapy office; But because of his kindness to us, he gained our trust and began to look for me at home every day to take me and bring me, more than anything to encourage rest in my mother and reduce her work. Another grace of kindness, inspires confidence.
The surprising thing about Oswaldo is that his friendly style was not only with me, because it could well be interpreted that he was kind because of his interest in me; but he became a helping hand for all the most vulnerable patients who came to rehabilitation and the esteem that everyone took for him was abysmal. In fact, he ended his therapy for his muscle tear and continued to go to the office just to continue helping people who needed it until they were also discharged. And so he was kind and loving, until the last of his few days.
how to cultivate kindness?
As I said before, to cultivate kindness we have to start with ourselves. Personally, before going out, I try to leave any anguish or anger I may have at home; for no one outside is to blame for our tribulations. Anywhere and at any time, I enforce the rules of courtesy; good morning, good afternoon, please, thank you; magic words that on the bus, come to a store or everywhere, have a very positive effect.
Another special weapon allied to kindness is the cordial smile, it can give a 360 degree turn to any adverse situation and I repeat that it is a master key to open doors.
I also try to make frequent use of Assertiveness; that social skill that allows you to express to others what you feel, without causing discomfort. I use appropriate nouns such as lady, gentleman, sir, young man; avoiding pseudonyms like mommy, daddy, my love, honey; that not everyone likes it or can trigger someone's annoyance.
"For me it is a pleasure to be kind, that satisfaction that you feel when someone tells you > "Thank you, you are very kind, it is something indescribable "
That is why I exercise myself in being as kind as I can every day with my neighbors, friends, acquaintances and above all, with the stranger who is the one who most deserves kindness so as not to limit it only to our affections.
With my teenage daughter, I emphasize emphatically and daily how respectful, how polite, how generous she should be with her neighbor in general; helping an elderly person to cross the street, speaking with respect and consideration to their elders and helping the needy to the best of their ability, are values that have been lost in society; especially in youth and whenever we can contribute to their rescue, it is imperative to do so.
And with this imagen representing worthy kind act I say goodbye, hoping to give my added value to this great initiative. I invite the hiver friend @ emily2021 to participate.
