La pareja y el Niño interior / The couple and the inner Child

Hello my dear people, how are you?

I am giving thanks to life for allowing me to keep breathing, alive and kicking and being able to connect with you in this @holos-lotus column and getting to know your inner child through your comments and posts.

Here's to continuing to carry your inner child on the outside: let it out!

We continue talking in this last installment about the inner child; there comes a time when that inner child grows up and begins to experience what it is to be in a couple, some of us have started later or earlier than others, each one at their own pace.

And I ask those who have a partner and also those who do not have one but would like to have one.

Why do we have or want a partner?

And in the free and very personal answer we give is the success of that union, at least 50% is in your hands.

Why have a partner?

I have come to think, I don't know if you do too, that most divorces happen because of how emotionally immature the members of the relationship are.

It is valid to ask oneself, as the case may be, why don't I want to have a partner? Look who answers, the child or the adult?.

I tell you that I am happily divorced and with great honor, and if my ex-husband says something similar or worse, believe me I will understand, even if he does not read these lines I thank him for his endurance.

I recognize myself as a woman who was married and unconsciously sought to fill gaps in my inner child (attention and acceptance of the male figure), of course, I realized this long after the separation, and thanks to that level of awareness and assimilation of learning today I have the luxury of having a rich relationship, more aware of those gaps that existed and some are still manifesting, however I can look at them, accept them, from my vulnerability to show them.

It is not only a matter of telling ourselves a thousand times the story of what happened to us when we were children, we have to continue taking care of healing wounds, and that work is individual and very much an adult's job.

When we are adults in couple with an inner child who has healed wounds, we realize some attitudes we have had.

Here are (5) scenarios that I know firsthand:

1️⃣Your partner is not your parent and neither are you his/her. If either or both of you act looking for that figure then that interferes negatively in your spaces of intimacy. **You are not his/her father, mother, much less his/her child, you are among other things his/her lover.

2️⃣Your patterns of insecurity overshadow the relationship and exhaust the mood and patience of the partner! sometimes if not all, may have originated in some chapter of your childhood.

3️⃣Taking responsibility for your self-worth, your self-esteem, your self-respect is your job, not your partner's!

Blessed is your partner who even looking at your shadows doesn't run away!

4️⃣The partner is a perfect mirror where the shadows are activated, seeing them helps us to overcome the beliefs of the child, to resignify chapters sometimes related to our childhood, and to continue evolving together.

5️⃣You are neither less nor more than your partner, a partner is like a bicycle with 2 wheels, both are important and necessary. Observe if you have continuous attitudes of submission or control with the other, or you often underestimate him/her, look for possible answers going back to the origin, to your childhood.

Each couple is a universe different from other couples, these points I mentioned are not part of any absolute truth nor is it a recipe, do not believe me, check your couple bumps and if you find connection with any of the ages of your inner child you are already half way to healing.

I bless you and wish you success in your relationship with your partner, and if you don't have a partner keep in mind that you yourself are and will always be your inner partner.

Golden recommendation

See your inner child every day, happy return to the origin!