[SPA-ENG] Iniciativa: Interpretarse a partir del otro | ¿Usamos a los demás de espejo? 👥

Greetings to all the Hivers of this community! Long time no pass by here 🤗! Today I want to talk to you about the interpretation we make of ourselves from the other, an initiative created by @damarysvibra for us to reflect and introspect about the unhealed on an internal level, which leads us to reflect it on others.

"Everything that irritates us about others, leads us to an understanding of ourselves." Carl Jung.

The Mirages of the Self

We have all projected ourselves at one time or another, and this is something that happens unconsciously. In early youth it is completely normal, we are growing and maturing. But when it extends into adulthood, it can seriously affect our interpersonal relationships if we don't take responsibility.

There are people who have a deep emotional immaturity and use projection as a defense mechanism to avoid facing the internal conflict they carry. This causes them to live in a constant distortion of their perception of others and situations, eroding their bonds by attributing their thoughts, feelings and motivations to others.

It is as if they live “dissociated” (I don't know if this is the correct term in this case), reflecting a blurred image of reality that hinders their genuine and coherent interpretation. These people tend to observe life using others as mirrors, generating great discomfort and uncertainty because they do not know what is really happening.

It can be quite exhausting to bond with a person with these characteristics. As it is something unconscious, they do not realize no matter how much you express it to them, they simply do not see flaws in their behavior, it is always the other, never them. I believe that the main basis of this problem is the avoidance of introspection, that journey to the depths of our being where the unresolved, the hidden and repressed resides.

Those aspects of ourselves that we refuse to accept and face. I suppose that some will find it more difficult than others, we are all different, but we must also take responsibility, know how to understand that if a conflict is repeated with several people and in different areas of life, the problem would be oneself and not the others.

A short example from real life

Maria used to speak very badly about her partner to her friends. She criticized his physique, his tastes and his way of being. It turns out that one day she caught him doing the same thing with a friend: she overheard him making a comment about her physique.

Maria complained about this to a friend, because of course, how could he do that, how could he possibly criticize her, what a lack of respect for women! No, no... he just went too far! 😲

The consequences of projection are fatal for relationships, as we see others as a reflection of our own shadows and fail to perceive them from their individuality. We interpret their actions and words under that filter of our own unhealed conflicts, creating in our mind a distorted narrative that has nothing to do with the true essence of the other person.

This prevents us from having authentic and deep relationships because we appreciate others from the distortion and not as they really are.

That is why it is important to recognize that we are all susceptible to this defense mechanism in order to develop the exercise of self-awareness, which will help us to break down the mania of projecting ourselves onto others. By exploring ourselves internally through therapy, writing a personal journal or practicing daily meditation, we will be able to go deeper and discover the roots of these projections.

By understanding that our feelings and everything that happens to us internally belongs to us and not to others, we will get closer to reality, build stronger relationships, value people for who they really are and embark on a journey of self-discovery and personal growth.

It is through this personal journey that I have realized how many times I have also projected myself. Usually (not always) what bothers us about another person constantly, has to do with us, something of that we have, even if it bothers us to accept it.

That is why, when something in particular has happened to me, I reflect on it from all points of view in an objective way, something that I did not practice a few years ago. It is incredible what one can discover, from the repetition of patterns to characteristics of our actions that we have yet to resolve.

We will never be perfect, but we can be more aware of ourselves. In the end, before looking at the speck in someone else's eye, we must look at our own, the mirror must always be directed towards ourselves. Before criticizing another, we must do a self-examination first, the inner work must be with the reflection that the mirror gives back to you.

Thank you so much for making it this far! Until another post 😘.

¡Un saludo a todos los Hivers de esta comunidad! ¡Tiempo sin pasar por aquí 🤗! Hoy quiero hablarles sobre la interpretación que hacemos de nosotros mismos a partir del otro, iniciativa creada por @damarysvibra para que reflexionemos y hagamos introspección acerca de lo no sanado a nivel interno, lo cual nos lleva a reflejarlo en los demás.

"Todo lo que nos irrita de otros, nos lleva a un entendimiento de nosotros mismos". Carl Jung.

Los Espejismos del Yo

Todos nos hemos proyectado alguna vez y esto es algo que sucede de manera inconsciente. En la juventud temprana es completamente normal, estamos creciendo y madurando. Pero cuando eso se extiende hasta la adultez, puede afectar seriamente nuestras relaciones interpersonales si no nos hacemos responsables.

Hay personas que tienen una profunda inmadurez emocional y usan la proyección como un mecanismo de defensa para no afrontar el conflicto interno que llevan. Esto causa que vivan en una constante distorsión de su percepción sobre los demás y las situaciones, erosionando sus vínculos al atribuir sus pensamientos, sentimientos y motivaciones a los otros.

Es como si vivieran “disociados” (desconozco si es el término correcto en este caso), reflejando una imagen borrosa de la realidad que obstaculiza su interpretación genuina y coherente. Estas personas suelen observar la vida usando a los demás como espejos, generándoles una gran incomodidad e incertidumbre al no saber qué está sucediendo realmente.

Puede ser bastante agotador el vínculo con una persona de estas características. Como es algo inconsciente, no se dan cuenta por más que se les exprese, simplemente, no ven fallas en su conducta, siempre es el otro, nunca ellos. Creo que la principal base de este problema es el evadir la introspección, ese viaje a las profundidades de nuestro ser donde reside lo no resuelto, lo oculto y lo reprimido.

Esos aspectos de nosotros mismos que nos negamos a aceptar y enfrentar. Supongo que a algunos les costará más que a otros, todos somos diferentes, pero también hay que hacerse responsable, saber entender que, si un conflicto se repite con varias personas y en distintas áreas de la vida, el problema sería uno mismo y no los otros.

Un ejemplo corto de la vida real

María solía hablar muy mal de su pareja con sus amistades. Criticaba su físico, sus gustos y su manera de ser. Resulta que un día lo capturó haciendo lo mismo con un amigo: lo oyó haciendo un comentario sobre su físico.

María se quejó de esto con una amiga, porque claro, ¿Cómo podía hacer eso?, ¿Cómo era posible que la criticara? ¡Qué falta de respeto hacia la mujer! No, no… ¡es que se pasó! 😲