I am very grateful always for living the kind of life that pleases me. I am pleased to be who I am, to do what I do and to go wherever I go. I have never come to appreciate life this far since I was little living with my single parent. Growing up was really hard for every one of us. I lost my mom since five. She left me with two beautiful girls and my dad was almost a dictator who never had feelings or wouldn’t just show it.
Love, hugs, kisses, were far away from home because none of us could bring ourselves to it. Maybe my dad felt it awkward and too belittling to be in such state. I and my siblings knew a lot about these stuffs and but could not show it…..it was like forbidden, and so we lived like strangers at home. My dad had an intimidating attitude and low sense of judgment coupled with short temperament. Words could not be expressed from our lips and so they were buried in our heart all because of a typical mixed feeling some children go through which is fear and hate.
We were afraid of our dad for his temper. He judges according to how he sees fit without thinking of our feelings. He doesn’t like anyone expressing his feelings against him and the end result of that is violence. So we try our best to keep mute which also has its consequences. We really did not intend to hate him but his attitude towards things in the name of protecting his children. Off course every father wants to protect his children from evil….but what if the evil is in one’s home how do you protect against it?
My father is not an evil person and he is also facing a painful life of his…loosing his wife and having to raise the three of us up alone. It’s tough. But it’s tougher when we are divided and it never occurred to him. We all became irritated living with him and I started running away from home not minding to sleep in the open on the street, just as long as I’m away from my dad. My sisters felt the same but with my caution I made them stay and they had to keep enduring for they were still young. Several things had happened like me cursing god and hating life, my sisters wanting to commit sucide, me again wanting to be hit by a vehicle on a late night. God had actually saved me on so many occasions that I cannot count which makes me a living testimony.
With all these happenings visible around him, he remained adamant and labeled it as bad influence from friends and movies we watch. Now we are all matured and working and living well away from him as he wants, I have come to appreciate life better even though I am not there yet but as long as I strive hard and put my faith in God, I will get there. For so many that are traumatized, do not give up but keep your faith in God. He will turn things around when you least expect it.
Single parenting is really not an easy job but it could really become easy when you dedicate sacrificial time to your children. You won't find yourself working alone, your kids should be tagged along with you to make the job easier.
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Assign responsibilities to them to make them feel helpful, though they might make mistakes but correct them with love and not ridicule thereby dampening their spirit. Children needs their parent and likewise as well. You can't cut their friendship outside and destroy the relationship they have with you inside. This will become silent frustration which may turn to serious depression. This is where most teens starts misbehaving and wanting to be independent. I have an almost finished book on parenting proper which contains educative and inspirational chapters on proper parenting and responsibilities of each person in the home. When my book becomes published, I would like to dedicate some for free in this community.
Stay tuned and remain blessed.