In Nigeria, as in many parts of Africa, burial ceremonies are often grand, elaborate affairs. It's not uncommon for families to spend millions of naira on a funeral, refurbish the home of the dead and host large gatherings to honour the dead.
This practice is deeply rooted in traditions and cultural beliefs that the ceremony will lead to a smooth transition of the dead to the afterlife and also honour the family members of the deceased. I've also heard severally where the deceased before their death give the instructions on how they should be buried.
However, this emphasis on posthumous celebration is totally in contrast to how the deceased was treated when alive. It’s not unusual to hear/see elders or even community members who lived in abject poverty, struggling to make ends meet but only to have their burial ceremonies conducted with extravagant expenses that they never experienced in life. This raises a significant question: why do we wait until someone has passed away before we show such love, respect, and financial support?
Why Not Celebrate Life?
Celebrating people while they are alive allows them to feel appreciated, loved, and valued. It gives them the opportunity to witness the impact they've had on others and to feel a sense of fulfillment. Imagine an elderly person who has struggled with poverty for years, suddenly being showered with care, support, and financial assistance. The joy and comfort this would bring could be immense, possibly even prolonging their life or improving their quality of life.
In contrast, lavish burials, though meant to honour the deceased, offer no comfort, joy or fulfilment to the one who has passed away. The deceased cannot appreciate the effort, expense, or affection displayed in their honour. They cannot express gratitude or feel the warmth of their community/family’s love. The funds spent on such ceremonies could arguably have been put to better use while the person was still alive, improving their living conditions or providing necessary care.
My recent experience was when a colleague at work was to bury her father-in-law. I observed the particular house where the man lived was refurbished and the external part neatly painted. I can't but ask why such arrangements were made for the man after his demise. Maybe I can't understand.
Examples from Other Cultures
In many cultures outside of Africa, burials are more subdued and spiritual, focusing on honouring the dead’s transition to the afterlife rather than on material displays of wealth. For example, in some Asian cultures, such as in Japan, funerals are often private, family - centered events where the focus is on prayer and remembrance rather than on grand displays of wealth. At least I've seen some of their movies to understand this. In contrast, life events like birthdays, anniversaries, and even retirements are celebrated with greater enthusiasm, emphasizing the importance of showing appreciation while the person is still alive.
Even within Africa, there are communities that prioritize living celebrations. For instance, in some Southern African cultures, there is a tradition called "giving people flowers while they can smell them," which emphasizes the importance of appreciating people in the present rather than waiting until they have passed away.
Understanding the Nigerian Context
The practice in Nigeria could be partly attributed to a cultural inclination towards flamboyance and a desire to impress others. Funerals, being public events, become an avenue for families to display wealth, status, and to gain societal approval. This mindset is a misplacement of priorities where the living are neglected, and resources that could have improved lives are instead used to honour the dead.
Call for a Sober Reflection
There is a growing need to shift the focus from extravagant burials to celebrating life. By doing so, we can ensure that people feel valued and loved while they are still here to appreciate it. This doesn’t mean that burials should be ignored or downplayed, but rather that they should be balanced with a life properly celebrated. The best to do is to channel our resources towards improving the lives of those around us, showing appreciation, helping people when they can value and appreciate the good gesture and giving support while it can make a real difference. Celebrating the dead without honouring them while they are alive is fake display of love to the deceased and mere show biz.
