🎑 Moonrises, Strong Ladies, & How To Prank Your 'Merican Friends With Junkmail ✉️

in #hive-1413592 years ago

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Uploading photos to Hive usually takes me quite a while, and during that time I often annoy my former American friends with junkmail registrations.

Monkey-B Is Growing 💪

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     Srey-Yuu and Pov fell asleep during the day, and with a bored Monkey-B on my hands, I knew I wasn't going to get much work done. We went down to the river and relaxed in the hammock together for about 30 minutes while she read one of her "Tom Gates" books. Later on in the day I walked outside and saw her and the mothership trying to haul the empty propane tank to our neighbors's place, apparently not wanting to bother me.

Add A New Feature To The List Of Attractions 🎑

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     I went outside to take a "night pee" and couldn't find the moon, but the sky was super clear so I looked for the brightness and saw the mountain peak radiating. I watched as the moon rose up from behind the summit, and within 2 minutes, the moon went from not visible to rising above the peak, and even though I know my phone is terrible for night photos, I still took a picture to prove it all happened. I don't know how many nights a year the moon will appear from that general location, but it's definitely an attraction to add to the future Airbnb description.

Getting Even With 'Merican Friends ✉️

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     I come from a farm outside a little hick town in Indiana, United States of 'Merica, and for over 12 years I've lost touch with almost every single friend from this place, mostly because my old friends are too lazy to pick up their phones when I call and/or download something like WhatsApp. To get even with them and let them and also let them know it's not me who let the friendship wither, I send them free junkmail samples with messages and/or funny names written where the receiver's name is supposed to be.

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     I am happy that even in Cambodia I have a way of reaching out to them without any cost to me. Norm MacDonald was one of my favorite standup comedians, and he recently passed away, so in celebration of his life, I chose "Turd Ferguson" as one of the names on the junkmail I registered them for. Also, my little town is very xenophobic, and there are nothing but black and white people with a few Mexican immigrants, so an Islamic/Arabic name in the mail would raise a lot of eyebrows.

     The town is so small too, and gossip is a favorite hobby, so for one particular friend, I only use Muslim-sounding names for all of the junkmail sample registrations. He isn't very pleased with this, but that actually makes it all the more entertaining for me. The mail carrier surely has wondered why there is an influx of new weird names going to this address 😁.

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     I can request a free sample/magazine in less time than it takes to upload an image to Hive, all thanks to autofill, and all I do is change the "First Name" and "Last Name" blanks to something funny or interesting to me. There are tons of American websites that aggregate free samples and stickers, and it's just a couple of clicks. My brother Ryan has been receiving junkmail at his work address for months, and apparently had no idea it was me. I sent him a custom wine label with the phrase "I Am Seriously Considering Scientology."

     I was beginning to think he wasn't receiving any of things I was having sent to him, so I just asked him point blank on a recent phone call, and that is when he sent me the above image. He isn't Greek and nobody has ever called him "El Toro," Call me crazy, but the photos of my junkmail samples bring me great joy and laughter, and some of the time the recipient too. The adult diaper samples are not well-received but snacks and beauty products are all mildly tolerated. My brother said he is going to buy a "Woodford Reserve" bottle to put his custom sticker on, so my work is done, you are welcome Earth.

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Your shot really beautiful

🙏

I get such a laugh out of the randomness of some of your blogs, and you didn't disappoint. 🤣🤣

Every time I visit the USA and visit old friends, I jot down their addresses. I've been doing this for too man years, so nobody will give anyone's address anymore. Perhaps I'll use "Paul Hogan" in a future free sample surprise, and we'll call it a point for OZ.

Yes! I like your thinking.

Language determination is quite interesting, reading it enough to give me entertainment ...😂

Thank you. I think I understand. I have a strange sense of humor with my friends back in the USA.

That junkmail of yours is hilarious!
I laugh love it! Hahaha!

Custom free labels are the best because I can send a sentence, usually "answer your phone when I call."

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I'm just glad you don't have my physical mailing address 🤣🤣🤣 we got a very tiny mail box and oftenly Christmas cards gets overwhelmed.

However, I have once received a stack of CD with import packaging, some 20+ years back, with loads of porn in them. Don't know how that got passed the custom checks, don't know who ordered them. I even asked if my bro did it, but apparently he just got married back then and have no time for porn-ing since he got the real deal. Now I'm suspecting someone like you did that to me.

I bet free junkmail is a bit harder to arrange in Malaysia, but I bet it's not impossible. For the USA, the easiest free mail and samples I can bomb my friends with are stickers, hygiene products, and religious DVDs. I am working on finding out the name of the mail carrier that delivers to one friend so that I can create maximum confusion by putting his name on all the mail 😁.

At least 50 autofill forms I clicked through I titled a mix of "President, Flat Earth Society."