So sorry to this friend who lost her husband.
I was contemplating to write about this or not. I was trying hard to blog on other topics but I felt I just cannot do it. I have no "mood" for the other topics.
So I figured I got to process a very heavy emotion today. The husband of my university friend passed away on the past Sunday.
I literally got stunned when I was informed of the news by another coursemate who seemed like will never contact me. Sometimes when there is a foreign number who can still call my by name, it is either a very good news or a very bad news. So she told me that our dear friend's husband passed away a sudden death, as she heard from their mutual friend.
My friend who is the deceased wife was my assignment group mate during my pre-university days. We sort of hang out together with 9 other girls. She has always been very quiet yet so gentle when she speaks.
Though we haven't met for a long time, when I learnt about this awful news about her husband, I did not know what to say. My friend suggested that we inform some of our university mates so I used my connection and informed a few. So soon the news spread and we were thinking what to do and how to approach this friend who had just lost her dear husband. We know they have been together since university times too so that is about 18 years actually. He is known to love his family alot and he loves my friend very much. He was a very funny guy, I remember. This is just too heartbreaking.
I felt very very heavy hearted since last night even as I was the one to coordinate with the florist and with my friends to arrange for a flower wreath to be sent over. I know deep down inside me, I need to reach out to this friend who has suffered such a great loss. I mean they still have 2 very young children. He is only 43 years old!
Hence I cautiously dropped her some lines. Was trying to see if she is okay to reply. I mean I can understand if she is feeling too overwhelmed.
She replied short at first. Just some facts. I asked about her girls. She said they are okay most of the time but they do ask for papa and would cry. Oh dear!!!! I CANNOT! 😫
Then I braved myself to ask her in every sensitive and considerate way I could about what happened, did he have any medical history on heart attack or pre-existing conditions.
She said he had pre hypertension under control. He complained feeling nauseous and a bit discomfort at the chest, no pain and no difficulty in breathing. She took him to the clinic and while she went to park her car, he collapsed and fell unconscious. The doctors did CPR, the ambulance came and continued CPR all the way to the hospital. He was pronounced dead at the hospital. Hmmmm 😭 They did a post mortem to find he had 3 blockages and a newly formed cholesterol plaque.
It reminded me of my brother-in-law's case when my sis was travelling him in the US. He also fell unconscious before her suddenly and she called ambulance. The paramedic did CPR, the A&E did CPR and the doctors in ICU finally decided to sedate him to preserve his organs before his vitals were back to normal. He only came back conscious few days later with some memory loss. All of us were praying so hard. I was literally crying out to God. Today he stands healthy before us as that was really a miracle.
However for my friend, she lost her husband. I cannot imagine the shock and pain she was going through when she came back after parking her car. I so wish to be checking on her and attend his funeral. A few of us wanted to but his memorial is held in another state. I can only try to keep her company via texting, reminding her to eat and drink and rest whenever possible, and to cry to grieve. We have asked her to reach out.
I want to pray for peace and comfort to descend upon this friend and family. Blessing them to find solace even in such a horrible incident.
Also thankful to the florist who did a very fast job in assembling and delivering the flower wreath. More and more friends contacted me saying they want to join in giving unto her. Yesterday I was so so so emotionally tired that I could not even stay awake to blog or do anything. It made me feel so drained.
Many of my friends and I are just not feeling our normal selves today. Mine was to the point of wanting to cry, what more Sai Ying, our friend right?
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