2024 was quite stimulating, mentally. I did a lot of inner work and can now say that I have successfully removed everyone from any pedestal I may have had them on. And this, I did out of love for them and for my own self preservation. I no longer care about things like trust, disappointment, and betrayal.
I have come to the shift, that it is in fact expectations that hurt, not necessarily the deed. Maybe this is a trauma response but it is positive af so I welcome it.
In de-centering everyone, I have released them from the bondage of my expectations. In de-centering people, I have accepted their humanness - flawed, selfish, and quite frankly - cruel. Not that they mean to be, not that it is even ever about me, but we are tiny gods, full of love and wickedness. I am done projecting my idea of perfection on people. I have completely let go of trying to control the outcome of human relationships, for I too am capable of major fuckups.
Right now, I’m focused on enjoying life and not internalizing people’s actions. It is never about me, and no one is that special that something they did should disappoint me so much to the point of pain. I no longer hold anyone in high regards, and that’s my final act of love.
I live, laugh, and forgive just as easily. My only priority is self preservation. If something or someone does not align with my values, I simply disassociate. When I get the best of people, I cherish it, when I get the worst I accept it equally. This has improved my relationships as I approach conflicts with a different perspective than before. Most importantly, I have never felt more peaceful and confident in myself.
Photo is mine. I love angel numbers and 222 is one of my favourite.
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