SSurely you have heard about meditation lately. It has been called the secret panacea to find wellbeing, but funny enough the how is usually given very little attention. Before showing how to do it in a way you won't end up wanting to smash your head against a wall, let's figure out why you should do it.
The Why
See, in your brain, some forces are fighting for your attention. Perhaps a mental image might help.
Imagine, if you will, that you are having dinner with a beautiful girl.
One part of your brain (pleasure), will make your eyes look at her neckline.
The second (Habit) will make you take a sip of wine without even thinking about it.
The third (Fear) will make you feel anxious about every movement you are doing because you want to give a good impression.
And finally, the fourth, and the one we care about, is what you want to do in the middle of the previous three. It's the part that despite your anxiety will make you take a deep breath, keep your eyes on her face, and don't binge drink to death out of nervousness. This part is called the prefrontal cortex, and in people who meditate it is shown to be bigger.
So what does that mean? It means it will improve your focus, will make you calmer, and therefore, more loving. You see, the other three parts are focused on survival, and as you might have found out by taking a peek at Animal Planet, we can be quite cruel when we feel attacked, scared, or out of our comfort zone. A bigger prefrontal cortex means more control, but to what extent? Well, there are stories of master meditators who can go to the dentist without anesthetic, but let's focus on improving our well-being for now. If you suffer from depression and anxiety in any form, meditation is for you, and even psychologists will suggest it to you because it is a solid science. I am not just babbling about it. If you check my reflections on my blogs and even some of my stories, you will find I have battled against mental issues for a long time, so I can assure you... For some people having a little more agency in their lives can be a matter of life and death.
The How
Meditation is about exercising your prefrontal cortex like you would do with your muscles. You'll find out what I mean in a second.
First, you find a calm place. This is especially recommended at first because as you progress in the practice, noise might as well be another level of difficulty 😁
Second, you sit down closing your eyes. It can be in any position you are comfortable with, but not so much as you might fall asleep. I like to sit cross-legged, or while sitting on a chair. I have tried to do it while lying down and believe me, you might wake up 2 hours later, so avoid it.
Third, you try to stay still and unmoving, focusing on your breath or the sensations in your own body. Every time your mind wanders, just notice it and bring back your attention to your breath or body sensations. This is the most important step of them all. How you do this is the difference between torture and the possibility of enjoying it, so here are some tips:
1.- Let go: Instead of trying to control every second try instead to let go.
I know it is counterintuitive because we, especially in modern times, are used to trying and controlling everything. Or we get tense about nearly anything. Hell, to even move we have to tense our muscles, but if you try too hard you will end up hating every second of it. Keep in mind it is a practice. The exercise is about precisely losing focus but then noticing and bringing it back, so don't get frustrated when suddenly you realize you had spent 10 minutes wondering about why humans don't clean themselves using the tongue anymore like animals do. It's expected and it's perfectly normal. Eventually, the time focusing on your body sensations will be greater. This is why I said it was like building muscle.
You will notice, that trying to control your mind by force will feel similar to the feeling of tension. Try instead to relax. If you can't keep a thought out of your head by replacing your focus in your body, let it run in the background or intently look at it like it's another body sensation. This is different from just letting the thought drag you on a limitless plot. Strangely enough, this will dissolve it sometimes.
2.- Keep letting go: You will feel itches, sometimes soreness, and you will want to move. Don't. Focus on the feeling and try to "relax it". You will notice many, if not all of them, will also go away. The ones that don't, try to focus deeper on them until you find something to relax. Even if you don't manage to get rid of these somehow they will become more endurable with practice.
3.- And... keep letting go: You will wonder if you managed to turn off the oven. If you closed your car doors... You will even get bright ideas and feel the urge to take notes before they are lost. It's ok. This is not a sacred practice and thunder won't fall on your head because you interrupted it, but always get back at it. You will notice when these are a distraction mechanism to MAKE you move because we are not used to being still.
4.- Start where you can: This means at the level you feel comfortable with. Right now I can last 30 minutes meditating, but I started with 3 minutes at a time. When you go to the gym people are very understanding because you are starting, so try and be understanding and patient with yourself. Especially, try to have fun. Be curious about your body sensations, try to dig deeper into them and you will find some weird stuff on the way. It feels so weird to vividly feel your heartbeat.
And that's it. That's the basics.
Take into account that there are many kinds of meditation, but the essence is the same. Keeping the focus on something, losing it, and bringing it back. You can focus on the sensation of your feet while you walk, you can focus on a candle, on sounds. Many like to meditate while listening to music. Try to make it your own. Some even do it while dancing, like the dervishes!
Images of pixabay and my own.
