To be on the edge every now and then is not uncommon for me, especially when you pair it with having some understanding on the unprecedented changes that are happening or about to happen and how that will impact you on a personal level.
To feign ignorance will definitely be an easier route to take, but the issue is that when you become awake, it's really hard if not impossible to revert back to sleep.
What I mean by that is when we become conscious of the complexities and nuances of the world, trying to tell ourselves that life will be otherwise is in many ways ethically challenging.
I like to likened it with someone who has learned the truth behind a magician's trick. The magic loses much of its charm, and pretending not to know becomes an act of self-deception that usually doesn't bode well with you over time.
Paranoia is just reality on a finer scale. Living on the edge in this context has nothing to do with seeking thrill or adventure.
It's more so about a heightened state of alertness due to an acute awareness of changes in one's self, immediate environment or society at large.
Sometimes, it could be all of them at the same time, a bit like a super-conscious experience.
Intensity
Meaning, to be on the edge is simply to live a charged lifestyle where our sensory perceptions are super dialed on picking up even the smallest of details and almost everything is done with a sense of urgency.
So it's kind of like a paradox, where time infinite slows down and speeds up at the same time.
This sort of experience is usually born out of illogical fear, a gut feeling similar to needing to operate a change willingly or the change will unwillingly be done for you.
For me, this state of mind usually comes about when an internal or external pressure to adapt or evolve presents itself.
Knowing that the fear isn't logical, I view it as serving as a catalyst for necessary action that my lazy self under normal circumstances would never take.
Given that the fear is illogical, trying to rationalise my way out of it never works. There are certain kind of feelings that stay with us for a long time, echoing on the background of our consciousness until we decide to address and work on them.
Imagine carrying such kinds of feelings for a half a decade or more, and the stagnation it'll bring to that aspect of your life?
Every now and then, I think it's beneficial to just turn inward and work on conquering our inner maze, lest we keep moving around in circles and never getting anywhere in the outside world.
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