Being Peaceful is not always about being in the best phase of life. One can be peaceful in the most chaotic situation also. It is the state of mind. Though it can be challenging but it can be possible. One thing that I have learned very well in life is that by worrying nothing gets resolved, rather stress and anxiety level increases. I was talking to a young girl some days back who has been going through some relationship issues. She is young and I will give her that benefit that she does not have much of life experience so it is very likely for her to react with strong emotions. In life we will have ups and downs and the best manner to deal with them is by being calm as much as possible.
The moment we try to control the situation it further slips away from our hand. I do believe that we should allow time to play its own course and not be in a hurry to come up with instant solutions in times of distress. We should keep our mind in our control because majority of the problems are the problems of the mind, which keeps multiplying in the mind itself and makes the distress situation even look worst then what it actually is.
Rather dealing with situations with a calm and peaceful mind will help bring better solutions. The moment we get paranoid or angry about it we lose our ability to think properly we jumble up our mind with many unnecessary negative thoughts and we may end up making wrong choices and wrong decisions. Best is to try to be detached from the problem, then it is possible to take a better view of it but all the time it may not be possible. Personally, for me when I end up in such situations, I like to go quiet and cut off from everyone and everything and just be with myself. Every time I may not be able to stay very calm, so this is necessary for me and it allows me to cool off. For the first couple of days, I have many random thoughts and I keep fighting with myself, but I avoid to take any actions or talk to anyone much unless absolutely necessary. This gives me time to think and rethink and analyze my situation in the best possible manner. When I spend a good amount of time in it, I do understand then what is necessary and what is not. Giving a few days reduces the intensity of all the emotions that have built up on my mind. And then I get a better view of what actions I need to take.
With time I have also felt less need of reacting to situations so I land up in these scenarios very rarely because most of the times I feel it is unnecessary to get into the emotional turmoil. Every difficult situation of life that has gone in past, today when I look back, I realize that it was so much unnecessary to react the way I did in those times, and these are the lessons for me. Specially the problems I had with my Mother-in-law. I would feel very anxious and always felt a need to respond back. Probably if she would had been there today, I would have had a very different approach. Or may be not. It was because of her that I learned many lessons in life and I have become what I am today. Tough situations are good teachers for us, in that moment we do not realize but reflecting back on them we do understand what was required and what was not. The point is to grow from there and not make the same mistakes again.
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