Someone said that life is a cheese board, and we all play different roles in it. I said, "Life is any game; you name it." You can fit the metaphor in every way.
Is not that true?
Sometimes we are the players, sometimes we get played, the judge is biased, and the audience is silent or loud; everything can happen in life and we can relate to it in every way.
I was thinking about all this because I'm having trouble with a friend. It's a silent war, you can say. I was not on good terms with her for many years. I even cut off communication. But she somehow found a way to poke me. She called me at random hours, I didn't call back to maintain my boundaries because I knew she would only make me feel miserable.
But she called me again and again and I thought maybe something emergency happened so I picked up.
Guess what?
She gave me quick updates about how well her life was going (which I didn't ask and never showed interest in listening to) and asked me about my life. I didn't lie. I said I was having the same miserable life, with no change, and she started to mock me subtly.
You can say, it's my fault I let this happen. But I was listening to her to let me understand why this is happening. Why did I let it happen? What do I need to do next? Should I be rude to her? Should I let her know that I want no contract with her?
It was a tough brain game that needed to be solved in a few seconds.
So I said to her, my life is not going fun so there are no updates that would interest anyone. It's better to let me live my miserable life and not bother to know the updates. Better focus on her wonderful life. And I ended the call.
It was not a good move, I know. I lost a connection (I would not say friend) and I don't feel bad about it.
Probably I lost the game, I'm not good at playing ego cards, not good at the game of life.
I could have dealt with this in other ways but I know nothing better. I make mistakes and learn or maybe never learn. I never learned how to be on the game. But I became the audience of my own life.
What can be more miserable than this?
Photos: Taken by me
Writing: Own
Correction: Using Grammarly
