Some dreams materialize like seeds in fertile soil, quick to sprout when watered with effort. Others seem like coaxing a stubborn plant to grow in rocky terrain. They demand persistent care despite seemingly minimal progress.
This pattern emerged as I reflected on my various aspirations over the years as to why certain goals unfold with surprising ease, and others resist manifestation despite equal – if not greater – dedication.
Part of me thinks that not everything can be made sense of, some workings of life are a bit beyond our ordinary mind.
But this particular pattern can be traced across different areas of my life, especially in creative pursuits and daily routines.
In examining both the easily-initiated yet difficult-to-maintain endeavors and their opposite counterparts, an insight into human nature and the mechanics of achievement rears its head.
Looking closer at this pattern shows an interesting truth about human nature. For the most part, the things that spark quickly share a common trait, which is they feed our need for novelty and immediate gratification.
In my own case, it's super easy to get lured into fresh-energy-like impulse when it comes to creative endeavors.
Starting a bunch of new projects without proper consideration for their long-term demands and based on the whim of momentary inspiration has been a recurring pattern.
In a way, we love these beginnings because they align with our brain's reward system: immediate action equals immediate satisfaction.
Yet sustainability is where the true story unfolds. The fact is that the dopamine rush of starting something new can't sustain us through the inevitable valleys of boredom, frustration, and self-doubt, which are bound to come at some point, regardless.
Pulling Teeth Out
This creates a peculiar cycle in our behavior. Interestingly, it kind of makes sense now why we've short-circuited into seeking more dopamine instead of just diving into the inevitable valley and facing the discomfort head on.
No wonder, I find myself with a graveyard of half-started projects and initiatives.
On the flip side, some of my most enduring achievements came from practices that felt like pulling teeth at first.
Building a daily writing ritual, for example, is an exercise on showing up, especially when I least felt like it. Establishing consistent sleep patterns for a long while seemed impossible until, not so suddenly, it wasn't.
These seemingly hard-to-initiate habits also share their own pattern, which is they require front-loaded effort but, once established, seem to run on their own momentum.
In my view, true habit formation operates on a different timeline entirely. By that, I mean there's some fundamental misunderstanding of how lasting change takes root.
I once believed that failure of willpower was the main culprit behind my inability to sustain certain habits.
Now, I believe not. I think I understand that using willpower alone is quite similar trying to paddle upstream with a twig, it could work for a moment, but it's not a sustainable strategy.
Put in another way, the "infrastructure" these harder-to-start habits require that we restructure our lives in seemingly inconvenient ways.
This process of restructuring (the part that makes starting so challenging) is what anchors these habits in place. When a practice is woven into the fabric of our daily life, rather than simply placed on top of it, it develops staying power.
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