I'll Sleep When I'm Dead!

I decalcified my espresso machine a few days ago around 11:30 pm.

This process typically takes me roughly 45 minutes, so one may rightly wonder why I would take up this task at such an hour... Well, apparently I am vaguely nocturnal now!

My son likes to party till midnight or later, gathering a tidal wave of energy that is a ton of fun if I give up on the idea on sleep. So, that's what I've been doing. While I ran water into the biggest thing I could fit under the spout of my machine repeatedly, I decided I might as well save the browning bananas on my counter. I hopped online and found a recipe for muffins.

I'm not a particularly good baker, but I've been working on it. I have a miniature oven, and it's had a bad heating element since I moved into this house. Recently that was finally rectified.

Now that I can count on consistent temperatures, I'm much more motivated to mess about.

I figured banana bread muffins would be easy, and assumed I had all of the ingredients after a quick peak in the cupboards.

I had my batter all but assembled when I realized I was missing a key ingredient! The small container of nutmeg that I was sure lived behind other more imposing spices was in fact not there at all.

I'm a fan of getting weird, so I decided to add cardamon instead, and boy was that a great choice!

Starting the following day with a clean machine and homemade muffins was an awesome pick me up, especially considering the rocket fuel I made to go with them.

I brewed six double shots of espresso while my water came to a boil, filling my favorite extra giant mug about halfway up.

I like a splash of cream in my coffee, just enough to give it a dark caramel tone. This softens the bitterness of my six shot Americano, while still leaving it intact to dance on my palate.

Thinking of ways that I can love the me of tomorrow has been making my late nights feel more like a choice than a duty. I find that tricking myself like this is powerful, and helps me tremendously in landing on the right perspective.

The muffins were an exciting treat for my daughter, and also meant that I didn't need to whip breakfast up that morning. And of course, the first few days after you clean an espresso machine, the coffee is just phenomenal!

I've also been catching up on my to-do list when I can at night. Emory seems to have a brief lull in energy before he puts on his finale of silly boy antics. This can go one of two ways for me. Sometimes he's the world's biggest snuggle bug, others he will allow me to wander off for a bit.

Being a mother of two seems to leave one in a state of constantly needing to organize something, so I've been leaning into that in the wee hours. Sometimes I chuckle as I complete tasks to help myself stay awake, thinking how not long ago I stayed up this late all the time for fun.

It's been wonderful settling into the mindset that seemed to accompany my 30th birthday. Over the last few years, I've come to cherish things like long baths, 10pm bedtimes, and eating for my health. I guess we make our own fun.

Yesterday I enjoyed my coffee and then forced myself to eat a proper breakfast. I'm normally the type to forgo breakfast all together, but I also knew that nourishing my body would help my addled brain wake up!

Soon I was brewing coffee number two to take with me to the playroom, where I silently thanked the coffee gods for the wind in my sails.

Emory sometimes only sleeps for 6 hours a day lately, a developmental stage, I'm sure. When you are only 2.5 things change fast, so I know this phase will be over before I know it.

Besides, how can I mind more hours in the day with this boy, when he is so stinking cute?!

He's gotten the hang of sentences now, and wow does he say a whole lot of them! He enjoys recapping things that happened earlier in the day, and he will often act them out as well.

He wanted to go outside the other day when it was freezing. Later, he recounted it all to me. "Coat, pants, socks, shoes... Go outside! It was too cold. Brrrr!" He told me, holding himself in a shiver with the last word.

He also loves to sing, silly songs like "5 little monkeys" or "The Itsy Bitsy Spider".

This makes the days really enjoyable. The simple and open communication of toddlers comes with so many laughs and heartwarming moments. As I mosey along through my sleep deprived haze, I find gratitude. The boy is a gem, my coffee is strong, and I can sleep when I'm dead!

^{All photos are my own.}