@honeydue Sadly, things were that way for you. However, it's great that you seem not to hold onto bitterness, but would be prepared to ask a civil and responsible question, that's understandable.
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It doesn't help anyone. Bitterness. A while ago, I took a long depressing look at how his absence impacted me, let him know, and that was that. It brought a lot of relief. Just like this flower brings a smile. Thank you, my dear.
Hopefully someday you can have a cup of coffee with him and learn to forgive for all that was not, sometimes the wisest thing to do is to forgive so as not to drag heavy burdens in our walk through life. My Regards @honeydue