The presence of parents in the life a child is in replaceable

Parenting is one of the major work that I see on earth. I believe that it is better not to bring a child here on earth if we know we can't be there for the child. I'm talking put of experience.

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A child needs the presence of both the mother and the father if possible while growing up. But if that won't be possible maybe because of work or something, then one of the parents must always be there to cover up for the one that is absent. We know that most times it is not possible for one person to fit in perfectly in the role of the second partner. Because a woman is not a man and a man can't also be a woman. That is just the reality. I know that things can be managed in the absence of one partner.

I was raised without my mother or father close to me. It wasn't easy at all because I had to cry almost everyday asking God what I did wrong to warrant this punishment. Like I said I don't know who my father is. He was far gone even before I was born. A few years after I was born my mother decided to send me to stay with my aunt who live very far away in the city of Jos in plateau state. As little as I was back then I was separated from my siblings. I can't see my mother from the beginning of the year to the end of the year. I can't also see my siblings. I grew up not knowing what my mother loves doing. What her best food is. Who she visits, who her friends are. In fact I don't even know what my mother went through as a widow because I was far away from her. I get to visit home sometime once in three years. And we may just stay for two weeks of less and go back to Jos. Is not like today when we have phones to call our brothers and sisters to jist with them or share our problems with them. Those days when we go back I won't even hear my mother's voice again until any year that we travel back again.

I grew up a lonely child and that made me take a decision that as long as I am alive I won't let my child stay with others. Raising my own children was not even easy either, but because of what I went through as a child we managed everything together. I have people who lived far away from me and wanted to take one of my kids to live with them, but I didn't want history to repeat itself. I decided that they will all stay with me. Today each time I remember how I was raised far away from the people that matters to me, I become very angry because of all the love and care that I missed as a child.

DO YOU THINK THAT THE FUTURE WOULD HAVE BEEN DIFFERENT IF BOTH PARENTS RAISED THEIR CHILDREN TOGETHER?

Yes, I believe so. If I had both parents with me while I was growing up, my life would have different from what it is today. I never got all the attention that I needed. I was also been spanked and beating even when I did not do anything wrong. One thing I will never forget that my aunt always tell me when I do something bad is - can your poor mother give you this kind of food that you get here? When words like this comes out of her mouth, I will just start crying and wishing that I will just stay in the village and manage what ever my poor mother can afford.

I believe that both parents have their roles to play in the life of every child.