Letting Go Was Hard But I Had To
Our mental health is something we ought to protect with everything we have because a wounded mind gives birth to a terrible person.
There were many times I wished I could cut away from everyone around me, be alone and keep minding my business to avoid disappointments and heartbreak but you know that's not possible.
The place of people in our lives is very paramount. However, it is crucial for us to know the kind of people we permit into our lives. Whereas some people will make you happy and make life meaningful to you, others will cause you nothing but pain and if you are not so smart to cut from them, they may continue to damage you gradually like cancer until you are messed up completely.
There was this lady I dated, I can say "She was one of the ladies I genuinely and sincerely loved."
We started out very well, though we are in different places, and meet occasionally because of distance yet I never bothered. I trusted her and cherished her with everything I had.
But subsequently, the lady started acting weirdly, she started complaining about almost everything. She thinks I was not faithful to her. Truth be told, I was not cheating but she wouldn't believe it.
The issue continued for some time and we walked through it. But as soon as we settled, she began to make some crazy posts on her social media. She always posts a particular guy with crazy captions.
I felt jealous about it so I asked her about the post, and she said "The guy is from the same village as her, they just met recently."
Fine, I took it casual, next thing, he posted a picture and tagged her on Facebook. I didn't know what happened but I also saw the post on my page. So, I liked it and the devil whispered, "Check the comment section."
When I did, behold, my girlfriend's romantic comment on the post. That night was not fun for me. But I didn't retaliate immediately, it was after some days that I spoke to her about it. The lady reacted harshly and hung up on me.
I know I was wrong, I shouldn't have checked the post at all for my own good but I already did. I expected her to be open to me as my girlfriend but instead she picks offence each time I tried to talk to her about such matters.
That was how it started, someone that once used to make me happy became like a thorn in my flesh. Each day I call her, she ruins my mood. Talk to me like a stranger and sometimes hang up with a promise to call back.
That relationship kept draining me, I became miserable. I lost my peace within a short period of time but I thought I could still win her so I held still.
After some months, she visited me, she came for a wedding at my place and decided to stop by my house. I wish she never came at all.
It was just obvious that she was not interested in me anymore. She spoke with a guy on the phone and he told her he loved her and she replied, "Same." I heard it.
I asked who he was, she said he is her colleague. I felt terrible, she doesn't even respect or value me any more, So, I got angry and it was clear, I already concluded that as soon as she leaves I'll demand for a break up but it seemed she noticed it.
So, after she left, she started acting nice again. I was happy for a few days, during that period, she confessed the other guy was her boyfriend. Then she started again, whenever I called her she spoke like she's talking to someone she is meeting for the first time. It was annoying and frustrating, I complained but it seemed as if she was doing it deliberately.
Sometimes, when I call, she will say she's sleepy, even if I have something very important to tell her. I'll just hold on. The next day if I try to bring it up, she will say she's busy.
She became a boss lady in the relationship and it was killing me every day. Since she began acting that way, I have never called her and not had my day ruined.
It was affecting me in every way, I couldn't think straight, my mood was always bad, I was emotional all the time, and it was so clear that my mom had to ask if all was well with me.
One day, I woke up and told myself enough is enough. If this lady doesn't call me, I won't call her and if she tries to act funny, I'll express myself. I can't be caged in such a relationship.
I did like three days and she didn't call, then I started missing her, I couldn't hold myself anymore so I called, funny enough she sounded happy and comfortable like nothing was wrong, then told me she was she busy that I should call her back later, which I did but she didn't pick up.
The next day when I called again, I noticed her line was busy, she was talking to someone. I was so hurt, so she could talk to another person but didn't have time to take my call or even call me.
It was that day I made my final decision. I wanted to delete her contact from my phone but I didn't have the courage, so I left it there. She called one of those days, I saw the call but I didn't take it.
The following day I called, she complained but I didn't say a word about my action. Another day she called twice, I saw the call but I didn't return it. She sent a message on WhatsApp. I saw it but didn't reply.
I thought it was a joke, I thought I might probably chat her with apologies subsequently but here I am today, I don't know the last time I talked to her or chatted with her.
Since then I have been so happy, I can't remember the last time I got hurt again. I can now smile and be happy with my family.
Everyone deserves to be loved, and we all deserve the best in our relationships, don't settle for less, your peace and happiness matter. If the relationship is affecting you negatively, let it go, you will eventually get a better one, it is just a matter of time. Don't hold onto what wants to kill you.
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