My perspective of the world has always been simple till it wasn't, my principles are guided by what is right or wrong, bad or good, black or white. Nothing too complex beyond what is considered ordinary but as I grew older I understood that there are other things that exist in between, things we can't quantify with words. Situations we can't really explain, it requires us to do things we consider to be wrong but feels so right at the moment. It is always easy to judge others when we see them do things we feel like we would never do but when you find yourself in a similar situation you would realise everyone is just trying to survive which makes us all humans.
When you think about tipping, for anyone who so much cherish human values as much as I do, you would consider it to be the same as bribing. I mean the general idea of tipping is to give someone something which is mostly monetary and expect them to grant you a favour in return or voluntarily complement someone for a service well done. It is also a way of following shortcuts or buying your way into places or getting things you were never meant to have. It is no longer something people hide anymore it is now a culture, if you are not ready to wet people's hands with some cash you would end up waiting in line for hours.
People have different reasons for tipping and in most cases it doesn't really matter if it is right or wrong, what matters is the reason you are doing it which kind of just makes the whole thing sickening. I mean if a court sentenced someone to death or a soldier kills someone in battle it is considered justice but when a civilian kills a person it is considered murder, the tricky aspect of it is that in both categories they both caused the death of a person but circumstances than led to the murder is different, one had the right to kill and the other category doesn't. I needed to point this out to give more clarification on the fact that tipping is also considered ethically right in the context of some professions.
Some years back when I was still working in Lagos traffic radio as a sub editor, I and my colleagues were sent out to cover an event, a particular event called deputy governor's cup. It is a ceremonial event held every year and which attracts a lot of attention. Media personnel always hover around like flies whenever they hear of prominent events. It is no doubt that a lot of prestigious people were going to be there. Our job was just to cover the event and pen down some notable things that occur in the event. It felt like a great honour to be assigned such a task, we were so nervous and extremely excited but things took a very weird turn at some point.
On our way there we encountered traffic which delayed us a little bit but on getting to the gate the security operatives wouldn't let our OBS van through the gate, we showed their head our pass but he doesn't seem to be interested in whatever we have to say, even if we were late that doesn't give him the right to delay us at the gate but he kept using it as an excuse and he said he needed to confirm from his boss before he could let us in. We kept waiting and there was no response, the event was already ongoing and the most annoying part was that other bus was passing through the gate while he kept us waiting.
From there I realised something needed to be done, I moved closer to him, joked with him a little to lighten up the atmosphere. After that I brought out some cash and put it in his back pocket, he just looked at me and smiled, the next thing he said was "You dey act like you no Sabi how things dey be" in pidgin which means I was acting as if I don't know how things are done. Immediately he let us in and I couldn't stop laughing, at that moment the tipping didn't feel like a bribe because it felt like the right thing to do because if I didn't I would have remained at the gate, it was wrong but it felt right, the tricky part is it did not bother me at all because I was able to justify my actions by telling myself I did it for the right reasons.
Another experience I had was during Naira scarcity that occurred last year, I was in Abeokuta when it happened. Banks wouldn't let people in because how some people decided to vandalise some banks due to the frustration caused by Naira scarcity. So if you want to do anything in any bank you will be asked to queue outside the bank where you will be given a number and called in when it is your turn, which kind of makes sense but if there is one thing abnormal about humans is our ability to use a working system to our advantage. Most security operatives that worked in banks decided to use it as a means to make money.
While everyone was grouped outside the bank under the canopy or in the sun, others who knows how things are done quickly walk up to any of the security men, rub their hands and they let them in. We knew what was going on but whenever we try to question their decisions they claim those people had arrived before, since there was no evidence to prove them otherwise we all just grumble and return to our seats. Most humans aren't aware that there is a limit you can hold unto your values, at some point you start looking stupid. There is saying "In a blind man's country, a man with sight is the odd one"
Eventually on rare occasions when I'm in a hurry I had to also tip the security operatives, it was indeed unfair to those who had to wait outside because they refused to tip but in a situation like this how do you define what is fair? In a lawless country, upholding the law is exhausting. I had to learn the hard way that sometimes you have to no choice but to give in, to compromise your values, to lose today in order to win tomorrow but if it were in a normal situation I wouldn't advise tipping, it corrupt people but in a situation that Warrants it especially extreme cases, I would rather give in than become a pariah.
This write-up was inspired by weekly featured content titled "When should I tip" in hive learners community.
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