Visiting the sins of the father on the offspring

One of the noble things a man can do as a sign of seriousness and true affection for a lady is to visit the parents of the lady to seek her family's consent, and so this relative of mine traveled several kilometers, at least seven hours by road, to seek the permission, only for him to be turned down for two major reasons: the lady was still in school (understandable, yet he was willing to wait), and his (suitor's) father was not one they would be willing to bond with in terms of marriage or whatsoever. This happened just about five years ago, and I was appalled by such a revelation. Was it actually because they disliked the father or they knew the suitor for his personality, which they didn't approve of? The lady was grossly displeased, but she had little say in the matter even though she was well above eighteen.

The twist of the story is that the parents of the lady called my relative three years later as they claimed to have reconsidered, but it was too late as my relative had moved on. The lady equally wanted both to still be together, yet the damage was done.

A lady once told me she prayed to have someone like my mother as her mother-in-law, calm and easygoing. And perhaps this characteristic rubbed off on the children. And so we have heard tales of job acquisitions sequel to affiliation with names or a pedigree. Just as my relative above, whose father may have had some not-too-pleasing encounters with the family of the lady, we have fathers who we may not be very proud of. Many children or offspring are not alien to the sins of the father, but is there really anything they could have done about it?

source

Sins have varying gravity and may leave lasting impacts on those offended, sometimes bearing a detachment or separation among descendants. The African tradition is particularly notorious for passing down generational bitterness to offspring, even to those unborn. Who was the offender, and who are those punished? Now, let me assume I have a cousin in the same school or environment with me, but because his father and mine are not on talking terms, we should automatically continue the legacy of bitterness? To what end? Some families or descendants do not even know what the offenses of the parents are, but they have been brainwashed to see the other party as an enemy!

The father may not be at the losing end, but we, the offspring, who may be losing peace of mind, the joy of connectivity and association with others, and the loss of opportunities like jobs, may actually be at the losing end. The past remains unchangeable while the present remains colorful with opportunities for an uncertain tomorrow. So, why languish over the sins of fathers or the past when we all can weave a harmonious and progressive present for a better future ahead?

Yes, while the bitterness may linger or not, wisdom begets peaceful living among one another. Society is bamboozled with many troubles, having to hold on to the past or sins of fathers, punishing the innocent, and tying down our hearts in bitterness along the way. Humanity encourages us to be humane and live peaceably.

Thank you for reading. I would love to have your comments and contributions.