In the 35 years of my existence, I have learned many lessons from people around me, either directly or indirectly. Some I learned from experience, while people of the older generation sat me down and told me others.
Earlier in my life, especially during my teenage years, ICT wasn't as popular as it is today. This limited virtual interaction is unlike today, when we have social media of different kinds. The exponential growth in social interaction level in the last two decades, especially, was accompanied by unhealthy competition. The competition brought about individuals trying hard to present themselves as being on par with others or even better than them. The implications are many, including a loss of self-esteem. Youth started doing things for the validation of their peers.
You see someone doing something because his peers have done it or because he has seen many people do it on social media. He would do anything to follow what he sees as social trends to get the validation of others. To the best of my knowledge and from a few practical experiences that I have, it doesn't always end well.
My advice to the coming generation is to do things out of personal conviction and not to get the validation of others or to follow the trend at all costs. I think it's good to have a growth mindset, and in the course of doing that, one may wish to achieve what others have achieved. In doing so, one shouldn't be desperate to the point of doing whatever it takes, irrespective of the illegality.
Many youths today are taking part in internet scams to finance the kind of lives they see their peers living on the internet. Someone who doesn't see life as competition won't go that far.
The coming generation, doing away with such desperate moves, will surely safeguard their future better. Whatever they want to do, they should do it because they need to do it to foster their growth within the confines of morality and legality.
This is applicable to other aspects of life. Don't marry because your friends are marrying. Marry because you are ready for it financially, emotionally, and psychologically. When you marry because someone in your age bracket or within your social circle did, they won't be there when the journey between you and your spouse becomes turbulent.
Some people don't mind what it takes for them to compete with others. In many cases, the people they are competing with don't even know the existence of such a competition.
A few years ago, I attended a burial party where a musician was performing. Two people were spraying him money competitively. They spent many minutes doing so with different levels of applause from the musician and the audience. I went closer to the stage, and to my surprise, I recognized one of the two people spraying money to be Akeem, the meat seller. I was shocked that someone like him could come to the stage and spend that amount of money. The other person was unknown to me, but from his appearance, he would probably be one of the big politicians in town.
A day after the burial was concluded, it became popular that Akeem had spent his business money at the party. For many months, he couldn't continue his meat business. He became sad and angry. He was nearly becoming a shadow of himself before he was bailed out by a kind-hearted and sympathetic individual.
Just like Akeem was sad about the consequences of his action, that is how one who strives to compete with others ends up being.
Unhealthy competition eludes happiness.
You will always be doing things to catch up with a friend or peer instead of working at your pace and striving to be better than your former self. The coming generation should try to avoid unhealthy competition. Don't do things to impress others or seek their validation. Be morally and legally upright in your dealings. Don't be lazy, but don't compete or be desperate about achieving anything.
Work to improve yourself daily, and you and happiness will become inseparable companions.
