Facing my greatest fear

in #hive-153850last year

Is there anything outside there worst than the fear of death? Even though we are all aware that we cannot live forever, we are still scared of dying. I can't really say if it is because of the means in which we have seen other people have dying that is causing this extreme fear of death in us.
We have seen too many tragic death via accidents, natural disaster and people killing each other like animals. The peaceful death we were once familiar with in times past are no longer common. Back then life expectancy was high and the only people we often see dying are the elderly.

My most terrifying situation was when I was faced with the fear of death, I have experienced sleep paralysis and near death experience before where I had struggle to move my body parts which will be adamant for a moments but this weren't so real like the ones that happened right before my eyes.

It was on a Night in the month of July last year, having been admitted into the Accident and emergency ward of the university of Ilorin and undergoing treatment for some complications.
The four walls of the hospitals has never been this cold before.
The ICU's and A&E sections of any hospitals are a number one places to avoid. Horrible sights and scene is usually the order of the day and the night I was admitted was no different.

At about 12midnight and upon my arrival, a stretcher conveying a lifeless person was used to welcome me 😢, the attendants passed us and it felt like I was going to die instantly.

I had come in with a chest infection and excruciating pains from crisis only to see a sight that increased my pulse and added more pains to my painful chest. I never can explain how I controlled myself, calmed down and remained positive that all will be well.

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After 2days of that incident and still in the hospital I was moved to the female medical ward after I became stable that was where I experienced the worst situation.
The patient beside me on my right was an elderly woman in her 50's and after a couple of hours we became acquaintances and started chatting, wishing each other well.
Her health was almost perfected by that evening and she was already discharged to go home in the morning of the next day.
At about 11pm that night, she woke up to take tea prepared by her daughter making jest of me who couldn't eat just yet. Barely 5minuites after the tea, she started gasping and all the doctors effort to help her proved abortive. She left us.
The craziest thing was how I watched someone give up the ghost, it was my most scariest sight and moment.

As if that was not enough the next person on my left also died about two hour into the first incident. I still feel guilty regarding her death, I don't know if I should feel that way or not, let me leave you to be the judge of the matter. Everyone was trying to sleep to relieve their minds of what has just happened, my eyes were open from fear and extreme shock of the first incident that has aggravated my pains. I watched the second woman's pulse rate increase and kept staring at her until she also gave up the ghost, maybe she would have been saved if I have drawn the attention of others but I wasn't aware of the right thing to do at that time and calling her children that their mother is also dying wasn't a thing I was ready to do.

It took about 15minuites before a nurse came around to notice this while I had watch her take her last breath there and then there was another death pronouncement. At that moment I froze, my dad's blood pressure also shot up almost instantly, he was as scared as myself. His hands and feet were fast swollen up. He took up the Holy water we had come along with and started spraying them over me and our belongings.

Monica is now overwhelmed at this moment, I forced my eyes to stay closed but my dad kept calling me at intervals to be sure that I was still alive 😀, having witnessed the two person on my right and left dying that night.
By morning I sent daddy home to go take care of himself and the Swollen body and blood pressure. I spent the remaining week in hospital solemnly and couldn't wait to go back home.

Until date I became less fearful and death meant nothing to me, I have seen it all. No more fear of ghost stories or going out in the night, my heart is strong enough to experience and endure anything.

I am very sorry to bring you this scary scenes just in case you are not familiar with something like this.
May we all live in peace and harmony with nothing to increase our pulse except Joy and beautiful stories.

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I think that's the thing with death, the more we encouter it through different situations, the less fearful we become of it. I vividly remember the first time I visited a graveyard to bury a relative of mine, had nightmares for a week.

When I had encounter with cadavers in 2010 and could still eat with the same hands, I became less scared.... Maybe for that moment but death is a fearful thing. The feeling of blankness, cessation to exist, etc.

Right. The fear of death is still there at the background no matter how much we get used to it on the surface. Going from a lively to a lifeless body is a tough transition that's hard to comprehend by the mind.

I totally understand, me that fainted after seeing my mum go six feet down... Those are just though moments that made us stronger.
Thanks for stopping by.

Oh wow, that was a tough one. With time and more experiences, we indeed become stronger.

You're most welcome :)

I can very much relate with these perhaps from my professional point of view. What hurts us the more is that we become helpless in the feat to save another. Medics live with the guilt that options other than death could be preferred. It's nature to bring to life and also have life taken.

Seeing two people die within a space of few hours would have raced anyone's heart and you were strong to have stayed sane, or perhaps you were in shock, disbelief and fear

I am glad that you can relate with this,they are never the nicest scene.
Thanks for kind words.

You're welcome

Who would want to witness such two experiences at the hospital and not feel scared and terrified. A lot of scene to witness at the hospital and if you are alive, it means you should be more than grateful. Thank God for your life.

Exactly dear, I am a living miracle.
Thanks for stopping by dear ❤

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Looking death in the face twice through patients around you must be terrifying indeed. You made it through and telling the tale. More grace dear💕

Thanks dearie, we have to let out the champion in us and chose to survive challenging times as such.

Thanks for stopping by dear ❤

Yeah indeed. The pleasure is mine.💕

We shouldn't be scared of dying, yet we are and only God knows the cause of that fear.
It was truly a terrifying experience for you to watch someone give up the ghost especially so close to you.
It's really not a nice experience.

It wasn't the nicest experience at all but I am glad that I survived it. Thanks for stopping by dear.

You're welcome.