I felt the most relaxing relief as I held my NYSC (National Youth Service Corp) certificate. Words can not explain how relieved I was. Sitting by the window this morning with my chilled morning smoothie, as I watched the view of the window, I realized it has been exactly 3 weeks since I finished my service year and it has been my best 3 weeks in a while.
My service year which started in mid-November and ended on October 31st really had a hold on me. It felt like a battle I didn't sign up for but I had to endure. To cut the long story short I will summarize in 3 words onerous, enlightening, and bittersweet.
I have always hated my PPA(Place of Primary Assignment ) but looking back I think I despise it more. A lot of people enjoyed their service year but I think mine was just to torture me. I was really optimistic at the beginning, I had an adventurous energy but all my optimism went down the drain when I saw my PPA. My PPA was a school which is the least in the hierarchy of PPAs. I accepted my fate even though I begged my PPA employer to reject me but he didn't. I suck everything up and put a smile on my face even though I was terrified and sad the whole time.
I hated every morning I dressed up for school, wishing it could all be over. I changed the accommodation provided by my employer because it is the worst ever. I couldn't imagine myself surviving in a half-roofed, one-room apartment with holes in the floor. I had to rent another apartment with my own hard-earned money. He told me he would return the money which he never did.
He tried to manipulate me, gave me empty promises and act like everything was ok, but I overlooked it and suck it all up. Imagine a few weeks before my passing out he started acting awkwardly nice and pleaded for me to stay till the end of the school term, like I am that stupid. After he literally showed no care or even acknowledged the challenges I faced and still believed that I would help him, people can be so funny. Some part of me wanted to stay and help for the student's sake but I mustered all the wickedness inside me and said a violent “NO”.
NYSC gave me lemons but my PPA gave me limes, did I make lemonades or limonades? Honesty, I don't know. But notwithstanding I had my good times too. Very few neighbours were kind, I had my emotional support sewing machine with me, my church community was awesome, and the few friends I made were God-sent.
In the end, I learnt a lot but there is only one valuable thing I learnt after all the 10 months of my NYSC experience is that “people don't really care”. I have always been a very soft person and I hate when I can't render help to people. And I guess they took that for granted and I can only sympathize with them and their attitudes rather than regret being a good person. It is a sobering truth that people only care about what you offer not you. People value things and use people instead of the other way around, what a pity.
Anyway, my happiest moments evolved around my fellow Corper and friends and my church community. They helped me through all of my depressed moments and made me feel alive again. It wasn't easy for me in the first 5 months, I am an introvert and I have a hard time mingling with people but I'm glad to have these amazing people around me as a cushion.
In conclusion, I had a bittersweet experience and God also gave me the grace to scale through. I'm grateful and forever will be!
Thank you for visiting my blog ❤️🔥
Ps: people don't really care, so be a little selfish ;)
all images are mine
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