A big Hello to everyone here, I hope I met you all well? Here we are assembled for another weekly featured contest which is week 107 and the first edition for this week. I must say it been a long time since I last wrote a post and this is due to the bad network of my new location. A poor network coverage is an understatement on how to describe the network but then, I've just decided not to let any unreliable network provider give me heart attack, LoL....
My title for this week's first edition is "When life hits harder than expected" and it is coined out from this week's first theme which is "Depression is real". Life isn't as rosy and entirely sweet as we all always wanted nor imagine it to be. Life is really unfair that it sometimes make you wonder what exactly is it that you're alive for.
I am a victim of depression and I must say that "DEPRESSION IS REALLY REAL". And when depression begins to appear real, that obviously because life is hitting you harder than you ever dreamt or expected. I grew up to be a very smart, intelligent and brilliant young lady. These beautiful traits of mine brings me to the lime light at all times including the times I don't want to be seen because of my shy nature but because I possess these attributes, people tend to notice me earlier than expected.
My father used to be my biggest cheerleader because he loves education and I'm doing quite well in my studies which births his support for me anytime any day. Growing up, I didn't get admitted into any higher institution on time (it took me 4 years). Most of my mates were all in school and are doing well but I was still t home waiting for admission into one school or another. My Dad would always encourage me to keep trying until I got admitted into a school in the southwest region of Nigeria.
Barely 3 months after I gained admission into the school my father fell very I'll and was at the hospital for weeks before he died on the second day I began my first semester exam. Through out that exam period, I wasn't the one writing my exams as I'm mentally lost. It affected my grades so bad that I carried some courses over. As time goes on, my academic performance began to drop drastically due to my unstable emotions, financial issues and mental stress. I tried all I could but I couldn't meet up again, infact my carryovers never stopped coming to the extent that whenever I check my results, a part of me would expect at least one carry over, lo and behold, I always have it.
Gradually, I went into depression because I was already feeling like a failure. I wanted to commit suicide but I thought about my mum losing another loved one again, I thought about quitting school but I couldn't bring upon myself the shame that comes along with it. To crown it all, my biggest cheerleader (my Dad) wasn't there to encourage me like he used to. I was totally broken, I smiled alot and talked less with a lot of thoughts running through my mind at the same time. No one knew what I was going through for a long time until God sent my fellowship president my way. He spoke to me, I had to open up to him, he prayed with me and also does close follow up with me as regards my academics, even after he graduated from the school, he'd always ask how I'm fairing with my studies. God really used him to restore my life because God knows I was losing it already.
During my downtime, I learnt not to give up because I find myself unconsciously going on regardless. I didn't want to commit suicide neither did I want to quit school so I just take each day as it comes. I also learnt to Open up to at least someone, I mean someone you can trust with matters like that. I know some people specialize in making mockery of you during your down time but that shouldn't stop you from talking to someone about it. At least, a problem shared is a problem if not totally solved will be half-solved. I also learnt to face my fears, no matter what happens, God is with me!! I started proclaiming beautiful words of assurance into my life every morning and it really worked in saving my days until I overcame the depression and started seeing the good side of life again.
Thanks for stopping by my post, I really appreciate you all 🤗.