[EN/PT-BR] Reflecting on the importance of a father being present in a child's life.

in #hive-1538503 days ago

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The importance of a father in raising his children is something that is super relevant to me, but I also think that raising a child without a father is not the end of the world for that child and his family. I have never researched it in depth, but I have seen some reports and studies saying that the absence of a father increases, for example, the possibility of involvement with drugs and, along with that, it can be said that the child has a greater chance of entering into crime, but this is not guaranteed either.

I say this because I was raised by my mother and grandmother, without a father present, and thanks to God and a lot of love from my warriors who took care of me, I became a decent person in life. My father separated from my mother when I was 4 years old, and from then on it wasn't easy at all. Of course, my mother had to do whatever she could to find the best for us, and my grandmother was essential in staying with me so that my mother had time to study and find a better job at this stage in our lives.

I think that for a mother to take care of her child alone, without help (as in the case we had from my grandmother), it really makes a big difference in the child's life, but in this case, very negatively. If I didn't have my grandmother, I certainly wouldn't be where I am, because I couldn't even count on my father. The child support money, for example, always came in below what was agreed upon in court, and my mother, for her own reasons, never wanted to report this. Of course it is a complex scenario, but in the end, if there is a lot of love involved, I think any family can work out and its members will stay away from what is wrong.

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I can say that while I was growing up I missed my father a lot, but my mother always did everything she could so that we didn't need him and that basically cost her her freedom to do everything, because her focus was always to keep me well and not let me lack anything. Now, in a family where there is no father, bad company can make the child think that what is wrong is right, and that is where the great danger lies. Without a father to help, the mother will certainly have to do twice as much and there will be no time to properly care for her child, which makes the problem even worse.

There is no right formula for raising children. We know that children in our world and in everyday life, people who have always had everything, along with a good financial life, become criminals, murderers and many other things, while some people who have nothing, fight honestly to grow up and be successful. So in my opinion, anything can happen, but when the parents are present, the family's love is strengthened and everyone involved understands better how good it is to be on the positive side, living and fighting for the one you love.

So that's it, it's a complicated subject and complex situations. Raising a child is not easy and nothing is guaranteed. I do everything I can to give my children the best I can and I always try to explain to them how we should be good people, but that doesn't guarantee that they won't make mistakes and do stupid things in the future. I hope that never happens, but we can't predict the future. In any case, I'm also sure that if I weren't there, the chances of this happening would be much higher. Therefore, a family united by love, patience and affection is certainly safer for everyone in it.

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A importância de um pai na criação de seus filhos é algo que para mim é super relevante, mas penso que também uma criação sem um pai não seja o fim do mundo para aquela criança e sua família. Nunca pesquisei a fundo, mas já vi algumas reportagens e pesquisas dizendo que a ausência de um pai eleva, por exemplo, a possibilidade de envolvimento com as drogas e juntamente com isso pode se dizer que a criança tem grandes chances de entrar para a criminalidade, mas isso também não é nada garantido.

Falo isso porque sou uma criança criada por mãe e avó, sem pai presente e, graças a Deus e muito amor das minhas guerreiras que cuidaram de mim, me tornei alguém decente na vida. Meu pai separou-se da minha mãe quando eu tinha 4 anos e de lá para cá não foi nada fácil, claro que minha mãe teve se virar da forma como era possível para buscar o melhor para nós e a minha avó foi essencial ao ficar comigo para que minha mãe tivesse tempo de estudar e buscar um emprego melhor em casa fase que vivemos.

Acho que para uma mãe sozinha cuidar do seu filho, sem ajuda (como no caso tivemos da minha avó), faz realmente uma grande diferença na vida da criança, mas neste caso, bem negativamente. Se eu não tivesse a minha avó, com certeza não estaria aqui onde estou, pois com o meu pai nem se podia contar. O dinheiro da pensão, por exemplo, sempre veio abaixo do combinado na justiça e minha mãe, por seus motivos, nunca quis denunciar isso. Claro que é um cenário complexo, mas que no fim das contas, se houver muito amor envolvido, acho que qualquer família pode dar certo e seus integrantes ficarão longe do que é errado.

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Posso dizer que durante o meu crescimento senti muita falta do meu pai, mas minha mãe sempre fez o possível para que não precisássemos dele e isso custou basicamente a sua liberdade de fazer tudo, pois o seu foco era sempre me manter bem e não deixar faltar nada. Agora, numa família em que não existe o pai, as más companhias podem fazer com que a criança ache que o errado é o certo e aí que mora o grande perigo. Sem um pai para auxiliar, a mãe com certeza terá que fazer tudo dobrado e não haverá tempo para cuidar corretamente do seu filho, o que agrava mais ainda o problema.

Não existe formula certa para criação dos filhos, sabemos que crianças no nosso mundo e no cotidiano, pessoas que sempre tiveram tudo, juntamente com uma vida financeira boa, se tornam bandidos, assassinos e muitas outras coisas, enquanto algumas pessoas que não possuem nada, batalham honestamente para crescer e serem bem sucedidos, então na minha opinião tudo pode acontecer, mas ao ter os pais presentes, a fortificação do amor da família é maior e todos os envolvidos entendem melhor como é bom estar neste lado positivo, vivendo e lutando por quem se ama.

Então é isso, é um assunto complicado e de situações complexas, a criação de um filho não é fácil e nada é garantido. Faço de tudo para dar o melhor possível para meus filhos e tento sempre explicar como devemos ser pessoas boas para eles, mas isso não garante que no futuro eles não irão errar e cometer coisas absurdas. Espero que isso nunca aconteça, mas não podemos prever o futuro. De qualquer forma, tenho certeza também de que, se eu não estivesse presente, as chances disso acontecer seriam bem maiores. Portanto, uma família unida pelo amor, paciência e carinho com certeza se torna mais segura para todos os que a integram.

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Yup. There are no certainties in this world. It is really important how to adapt, give and take between parent and child is also important and as a parent, a responsible one for sure is hard but it is really necessary for your child. You got a tough exp. there bud. Keep it strong!

I've hardly had a father since I was four years old, but I'm glad I've become a good man. When my daughter was born and my wife was joined by my son (I'm his stepfather), I accepted the challenge, because I don't want my children to go down the wrong path in life, so I'm very happy to have this challenge and at the same time this love from my little ones! I love them very much.

You have a very kind heart man. It is truly wonderful that despite everything that have you been through from a younger age, you still became the man you are right now.

It's great to read this my friend, I know I would have had every reason to act like my father, but I decided to break the cycle, which was to do exactly the opposite of what he did! I'm sure I'm not perfect, but I've been a good father to my children and I want to stay that way! A big hug.

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The presence of a father in anyone's life is extremely important, they give us the confidence to grow up secure and emotionally strong, sadly there are too many cases where fathers decide not to be present in their children's lives and when they want to make amends they don't always receive the love they desire when they are older. Thank you for sharing your perspective on the subject, a hug 🤗

You've spoken the purest truth, unfortunately many people don't want to assume their paternity, but I decided from day one, despite my fear and insecurity, that I would be present in my children's lives, giving and receiving love from them. They are my everything, my beginning and my end. A big hug for you!

I am glad to know that there are still men willing to take the responsibility of being present fathers in their children's lives, never lose moments with them because those will be the best memories they will have of you. ☺️

Thank you very much for those words, I really do everything for them, I've made it my life's mission to look after my children and protect them until they grow up. My biggest fear is losing them, so I do everything to keep them close to me and happy! ☺️

Bzzzrrr, Shiftrox! 💕 Obrigada por compartilhar sua história. Posso sentir o quanto é difícil, mas também a força da família e amor que vocês tiveram. #Resilência 🌟

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It's worth the effort, time spent with your child is never time wasted!
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I totally agree, the time we invest in our children is one of the coolest and most rewarding things there is. My mother never gave up on me and I always tried to make her proud, even without a father around since I was 4 years old, I was always honored by her sacrifice! Love is everything!

Poxa isso é realmente um feliz resultado, pois vemos que conseguiu se tornar um bom pai. Então bola pra frente e vamos deixar pros nossos filhos melhor do que foi pra nós!

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Exatamente mano, nem sempre um filho sem pai quer dizer que irá se tornar alguém ruim, claro que fica mais sucessível a acontecer algo ruim, mas nada é garantido. Apenas o amor e a família que ali está pode salvar e proteger as crianças. Não é fácil, mas não é impossível!

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There's no way one will not miss the absent of one his or her parents, but that must not be an excuse to be a good person

That's right, the road may be difficult, but that doesn't mean it's impossible to become a good person without a father present.

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I have no doubt that your mother and grandmother were fundamental to your education.

In today's world, it's not easy to grow up without a father and you proved to us that it's possible if incredible people are by your side.

Thanks for those words bro, I know it wasn't easy but I did everything I could to make my mom proud, she's the person who made me a man and I couldn't let her hurt me, so I just have to thank her for the hard battle she had to raise me.

Excellent! She is very proud indeed. And you here are a great example for others to look up to.