Life can not be dealt with alone. This is why it is a natural thing for humans to relate to one another as social beings. I can term the way we relate to be as a relationship. Now, there are different forms of relationships, from business to politics to romantic to workplace relationships. In each of these forms, there are certain characteristics that are peculiar to them as well as those that cut across them all. Hence, a toxic relationship can be one that happens in a political space or workplace.
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I would like to take a step back from a romantic relationship as an example and stick with what was meant to be platonic. According to choosetherapy.com,
A toxic relationship is one in which two people don't communicate or relate to one another in healthy ways, and where conflict easily arises.
In other words, a toxic relationship is quite parasitic in nature, unlike how it should be - symbiotic.
I remember the case of a distant relative of mine who grew up together with his bosom friend, of course. In fact, I once thought they were fraternal twins due to the way they did things together. In contrast to what you might have imagined, it was my relative that is always a culprit, and I grew up knowing him as one person that people seldom love to be around.
Let our relative be KY. KY actually grew up as one who was loved by everyone until he went to a far country and came back to what he was today. Back to KY’s un-wonderful relationship with his friend who always has to put up with him because of how far back they have been.
On one occasion, KY drunk as usual came home to meet his friend’s house locked. Angrily, he kicked the door as if it were not there. The neighbours had known KY to be one who can do and undo so they left him in his peril. When the door won't budge, he resorted to spitting what became the last straw that broke the camel’s back. He began to let out certain secrets about his friend. This was where the community knew that he had aborted a child when he was in his prime with a popular lady. Not only that, other ones that never should have left the corner of the room were spilt without remorse. This broke the trust and respect that people had for the guy in question who had lived his entire adult life in there with no issues written to his name.
I, for now, believe that the friend does not deserve any of these. He was the one that has bailed out KY numerous times from the police station over street fights, he put up with his incessant inability to repay loans despite pleas and promises that preceded the collection and so on. On one occasion, KY almost implicated his friend in a theft he engaged in with a small gang in the community.
I was also of the opinion that KY was not someone that could be stayed with to be redeemed, his friend should have parted ways with him long ago without thinking twice. And when I left for school, I didn't really hear about how it later went.
Nevertheless, that taught me certain things. One was that a friend (or anybody) should not be assumed to be the same person you have known, be careful and give room to critically observe and know who you are dealing with. Be ready to call it to quit if the positive energy is not being given back as you truly do. Also, I learned never to do things for people with expectations in mind, as it gives peace of mind and the sense of no one owes me sh*t. Only borrow people's money based on what you can give out without it harming you, except you are a multimillionaire. And so on.
Lastly, as one of my amiable colleagues says ‘Watch and Pray’. This will actually help you not to waste time with or on some people, in fact, it can enable you to decipher who should be your friend and who should just remain as an acquaintance.
