Everyone grows up seeking that sense of belonging. A feeling that you fit in a particular picture. This same feeling is what makes people join the wrong groups, and remain in abusive or toxic relationships.
A family as we were taught while growing "as we know is a group of people related by blood or by marriage", but don't you think that definition is just too shallow? Yes, I know that different cultures have their different definitions but I feel a family is based on more.
Now, when it comes to marriage, we believe we already fit in, having a person that love you regardless without judgements or without you having to prove yourself or go to the extreme to cry or seek for their love and they can go to the ends of the Earth for you. But, what happens when after all those feelings of love vanish and you get to see those characters that you didn't know were there in the first place? Will you remain or move on to the next person?
This was one option I always opted for whenever I felt the slightest mental stress in a relationship, you can say that moving to the next was my way of maintaining my sanity and you can say that I got addicted to the "honeymoon stage" feeling but the truth is that commitment scares me because of some issues that has happen.
Going back to our prompt from @hive-learners community where they asked if prenuptial agreements should be a normal thing, I guess the next lines of words will be my opinion on the matter and please, they are what I feel will work best for me and I will/have discus(ed) them with my partner to be and they are based on our type of persons.
In this our generation, we have created a new mindset for ourselves regarding marriage. Yes it is a good ting and an eye opener but the value of what we used to think marriage was isn't anymore. To me, I feel where love ends, agreement or should I say understanding continues. Myself and my woman read a book together in our early months of our relationship titled "Things I Wish I'd Known Before We Got Married" by Gary Chapman (if you need the book, let me know) and I didn't read this book because I just wanted to but because I wanted us to be intentional with the relationship. The book was an eye opener and one major thing it spook about was knowing your love language and that of your spouse. Initially, I thought just like every girl, if I send her money when I offend her all is well but this girl kept on sending the money back (she stylishly asks for it back afterwards though) but after reading, I found out that even though receiving gift was her love language, it wasn't her primary one.
Reading this book and being intentional is what is currently working for us. Remember in the beginning, I said something about agreement and one of the agreements we made is DISVORCE IS NEVER AN OPTION. Having this at the back of our mind is a major key that pushes and strengthens our relationship. We also came up with other agreement because it is better to start them now than starting hem in the future.
Prenup is not something that should be thought of because you are in directly saying that there are chances that this marriage won't work. I know it helps protect your assets and all but you too, don't you know the kind of person you are also getting married to in the first place.You can argue that she was a good girl but also know that she changed because of you. Before you enter into a long lasting commitment did you pray or was it all vibes?
Putting all these together, we can easily say that if you want to have a lasting marriage do these
- pray.
- know who/what you are dating and her/his friends.
- be intentional with it and always ask yourself this question "if he/she does this to me, will I accept it?".
- have someone you both are accountable to.
I'm not yet married but trying this out has made go into my first longest relationship and I know it will take us further. Marriage is still a beautiful thing don't let social media cloud your judgement.
I AM TROJAN AND I LOVE LOVE 😉 and Thanks for reading 🤗
