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There have been many theories about relationships. Everyone shares his own theory basing upon observations, experiences and deductions. Each theory will give you corroborating argues about successful relationships. Despite all those theories majority of relationships end in despondency.
Relationship is a nexus between two person based on emotions,desires and interests. If anyone declines any of these things, he is not aware of true rekationship then. These three words are very dynamic in nature in the defination of a relationship and cover all the necessities of a good relationship.
Generally relationship start in a very inappropriate way these days. I call them instant relationships. They start in the name of love when one is captivated by the personality of other as an Urdu poet once said
محبت کو یہاں تک آج کل کے انسان لے آئے۔۔
جہاں دیکھا حسیں چہرہ وہیں ایمان لے آئے۔۔
In the above verses poet said that men of this era have derogated love to such a level that whenever they see a beautiful face they think they are in love now.
So the relationship that starts will single-sight love (captivation to be exact) will be more prone to vulnerabilities because it lacks emotional interests which get debunked with the passage of time and we consider others a red flag because his likes and dislikes don’t match with ours. I believe proper time and understanding are needed to initiate a relationship. We must know about the extremes of a second person. We must have spent time with him enough to understand his likes and dislikes.
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What is the role of age in a relationship?
Many people in our subcontinent believe that there must be a differnce in age between a boy and a girl in a relationship. The boy must be older than the girl because he has to run the house so must be mature enough and maturity according to them comes with age. And thus with maturity boy will tackle every situation.There is an antagonizing group as well which generally involves contemporary youth. They believe that for an ideal relationship, both partners must be of the same age because they will understand each other and their chemistry will match. The points of dissuasion will be minimal.This group doesn't believe in age difference.
What are my thoughts?
For me core elements of relationship are chemistry, care, sincerity, understanding and love. All these contribute alot to the integrity of relationship. Pragmatically, I also think that every bond is like a business deal in which you remain until you are getting profits. What is profit in bond? It is love, positivity, vibes and interests as well. When you stop getting that profit, you try to move out of that bond like we do in business deals.
There is no age factor for me in relationship.Being follower of Muhammad ( PBUH) , I seek guidance from his life. His two marriages are mostly famous. One with Hazrat Khadija and second with Hazrat Ayesha and in both there are opposite age gaps. In former case Hazrat Khadija was elder than My Prophet (PBUH) while in latter Hazrat Muhammad (PBUH) was elder. And both were successful.
For me as well the age doesn’t matter. What matters is vibes.
There is a taboo in our society to marry a lady which is slightky elder than you . Many widows and elder ladies are without marriage due to this reason. I am totally against this culture. No matter what is the age of partner,whether it’s much or less , you will have a good relationship only if you adore and care each other.
What nurtures any relationship is love between them, tolerance, understanding, and vibes. If two partners can excel in all these things, the age factor will not even have a minuscule effect on their lives.
This is my post for #hl-exclusive and #hl-w124e1.
