this whole Johnny Depp trial has me confronting many of my demons. those close to me I am a survivor of child abuse, SA and domestic abuse as well as two really deranged stalkers one of which wanted to cut off my face. My therapist says it is not uncommon for child abuse survivors to end up in toxic relationships and attract very unsavoury people. In the end I am Lucky I survived it all and amnesia has erased 3 years of my life entirely which helps with coping I guess.
I went into the trial totally neutral. I had heard that he had beat her but that was the bulk of it and I had had enough going on with my health to really not care. Fast forward to now I was doing the Youtube Rabbit hole when i landed on this trial and got sucked in. It soon became clear to me that this woman was lying and the extent of her lies where shocking. Don't get me Wrong Johnny Depp has issues he is a drunk and an overall #superaddict and he has obvious issues with jealousy, but that is a far cry from beating someone up with ringed fingers punching them in the face with them and raping the girl with a bottle.
This is What this woman claims problem is the next day after he allegedly punched her 3-5 times in the face with heavy rings she went on a talk show. Not a scratch to be seen and claims a bit of makeup and ice (and famously arnica cream ) covered the assault. It's bullshit! when my ex backhanded me with heavy rings I could not leave the house for weeks because my face was so swollen and cut I looked like Quasimodo . If he had punched me teeth would have gone flying. So many discrepancies and obvious lies such as her claiming her feet where slashed to ribbons by glass but then she was filmed and photographed strutting in high heels a day later through an airport. son't even get me started on the book lines and film scenes she brazenly used in her testimony claiming it was her experience- At this point I am just beyond repulsed by this woman. She is making it harder for victim's to be believed soiling a whole well needed movement. And to ad insult to injury it comes to find out she was abusing him physically. This was repeated behaviour on her part and she is a repeat offender apparently she assaulted he ex-wife as well as her assistant. #Men are survivors too and hearing this man's story just makes me sad imagine being alone with this and on top of it being called a wife Beater. No one should go through things like this alone - it's a fucked up world we live in
As is the recording is a poem I wrote when i was in the 100 Days of poetry challenge - Steve had told us about his own abuse story and it triggered a virulent response that left me reeling for days it culminated in this poem that I then made into a performance art piece.
Listen on Audius
His pain lives in bone fragments
gracefully alined in poems of yesterday
Those words- slap, punch, kick
knock memory off shelf
bruises deemed healed bleed
colouring sanity
smell him
the other, the betrayer, the one erased form the hard drive
he crawls from the trigger.
ugly in his justification and need to be absolved.
he crawls from the scars
. ledger of a past I hold only snapshots of
he crawls from the ashes
of incarcerated dreams I need to escape
Jiminy points silently to acerbic childhood trauma
piling ludicrous guilt on my plate for the runt who showed little sympathy for me,
the nuisance he decided to terminate
Weak, weak, weak
repulsive toy soldier dressed as Iron man
fucked a hooker then raped me with her disease
Fellatio the ego with razorblade tongue
merciless release into emasculation
hate like bugs bubble, tearing through skin devouring tissue.
sockets ravished unable to produce any emotion
Mouth flaps tongueless, animated by lies not longer able to ascend
My pain lives in bone fragments
held together by 13 titanium screws
survived through the grace of the ones I lost
3 years of data under a PTSD coded magnet
The book of Steve broke open the shards of another
do you see what the script did there uncover?
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(Image credit Dave Renike and a portrait of the late loved and so very missed jubilee made by myself turned into this here universal truth meme)
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this little girl was made for me by @barbara-orenya