Image by 愚木混株 Cdd20 from Pixabay
Eleven-year-old Eleanor Ludlow came and got her ten-year-old brother Andrew, and he instantly put his arm around her.
“What's the matter, Ellie?”
“Some person has lost their mind and come out here to tell Cousin Harry off in person.”
“Oh no – well, we can't save him but you make sure Amanda and Edwina are safely over with Gracie, and I'll go take Lil' Robert and Grayson to go to Bruh Melvin's studio with George.”
But instead, the two elder siblings and Lil' Robert and Grayson met Gracie, Edwina, Amanda, George, Milton, Velma, and Melvin on the Trent porch, and the Trents were passing out popcorn.
“See, the Angel of Death discriminates in a good way – he ain't gon' kill us,” eight-year-old Gracie Trent said. “He's going to be so smooth we won't even know and that poor man won't even know he's in Heaven or Hell 'til he gets there.”
“I just need popcorn – I'm good!” five-year-old Lil' Robert said.
“I wish I could be that young and relaxed again,” Eleanor said.
“Yeah, me too,” Andrew said, “but maybe this is a safe distance, because Cousin Harry rarely ever gets loud."
Cousin Harry was Col. H.F. Lee, and in the last days of his tenure as a police captain on the Big Loft Police Department. He had made a lot of enemies, and one of them, a bigwig in Internal Affairs who also was a veteran, had decided to gloat a bit.
“First of all,” Melvin said, “of all the dumb things – I ran into him at the commissary one day, and he's a Army captain in the Reserve making a mistake that is going to cost him his pension. Y'all's Cousin Harry is a police captain, but in the Army he's a colonel, and he's not retired: he's in the Reserve and also not retired. If he were retired he would have no more authority, but … .”
“Doesn't it take a general to tell off a colonel?” Melvin's eleven-year-old sister Velma said.
“That's right,” Melvin said. “It's like Dad says all the time; don't get into the habit of giving people a piece of your mind, because you may not have enough to spare.”
“When you become a living version of 'Mess around and find out,' ” Andrew said.
“Ain't it the truth,” Gracie said.
“We're watching a man mess up his whole life in front of us, and you're laughing!” seven-year-old Amanda said as almost-18-year-old Vanna Trent cracked up.
“Just keep the popcorn coming!” five-year-old Lil' Robert said as he held up his bowl.
“Your bowl is still half full,” Vanna said gently. “Eat what you have, Rob – there's plenty and I'll give you some more when you finish that bowl.”
“Okay – I was just checking, because, see, this is really good, and, I'm not trying to eat all of it, but, see, I gotta eat for me and my two hollow legs, see because and then –.”
“He's not even doing anything to him, and the man is just messing up his whole life,” Melvin's nine-year-old brother Milton said.
“And I am totally here for it!” Andrew's eight-year-old sister Edwina said, and clapped along with every word: “I. AM. HERE. FOR. IT!”
“Yeah, we were going for a space navy to just beam the bad guys to prison, but this is some next-level action from Cousin Harry!” Edwina's nine-year-old brother George said. “Hey, Ellie – is this like that alchemy they used to do trying to turn lead into gold, but instead revealing the stupidity in people?”
“Hey, that's it,” Milton said. “This guy is a dangerous to himself and others, so the magic y'all's cousin is doing is going to get this man out of power so he can't mess over anyone else. It's like X-Ray for criminals!”
“He probably lured him here,” Eleanor said. “This whole thing is probably a trap!”
“Yep, because I'm tall enough to see through the windows – y'all have guests,” Melvin said.
And those guests, being a member of the BLPD's Internal Affairs, a member of the Army's Judge Advocate General service, and two military police officers, took the colonel's guest away upon his command, the behavior that had wrecked his life having been recorded, and the man's insane rage in going also as he was none-too-gently stuffed into the waiting car another officer had pulled around.
“Game, set, and match,” Melvin said.
“He didn't even say anything the whole time, and still got him,” Eleanor said.
“That's some power,” George said.
“I've been telling y'all he's the Angel of Death!” Andrew said. “That's why we had to evacuate over here!”
“Right, bro, because the popcorn is really good here – my bowl is empty now!” Lil' Robert said, and grinned as Vanna refilled it.
“He shoulda told me and I would have had a whole jail built and saved them the drive,” six-year-old Grayson said as he sat in the pile of Legos he had brought over in his little red wagon.
“And then they wouldn't have needed to stuff him in the car,” Amanda said, “but then, he was saying some not-nice things, and when you come around us doing that, Cousin Harry doesn't like it and that's definitely not safe.”
“And I am here for it!” Edwina said, and clapped along with the rest of what she said. “I. AM. HERE. FOR. ALL. OF. IT!”