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“Papa, I don't get it. That man came out here to kill you because he said it, and you're paying for his treatment?”
“That's right, Edwina. I am.”
Capt. R.E. Ludlow knew that his eight-year-old granddaughter Edwina – and a whole bunch of the other six grandchildren – had overheard his talking with a relative of Edwina's mother who was PTSD-ing, drunk, and about ready to get done in by the clear-minded, deadly captain … but instead, the shrewd warrior had walked his would-be assailant through a quick intervention, straight to rehab, taken his gun, and saved another life.
Edwina, herself innately a warrior, roused up too soon because of her experiences in foster care that her mother's people didn't get her out of, didn't get it.
“It's real sad when you have been so bad as an adult that eight-year-olds want you dead,” Mr. Thomas Stepforth Sr. said as he shook his head from the Trent porch.
“That poor baby,” Mrs. Velma Stepforth said, “but that's the answer to the question she has. Capt. Ludlow spared that man so his grandchildren can heal – no more violence. No more killing.”
That, indeed, was the answer, although the Ludlow grandfather went at it a different way for his granddaughter's understanding.
“You know how George says, 'No more Crazy Town'?” the captain said as he picked his granddaughter up.
“Yeah,” Edwina said.
“Just because people visit us from Crazy Town doesn't mean we treat them like that here.”
“Oh,” Edwina said. “But he would have killed you!”
“How? Drunk, disorderly, and lost in front of our house? How?”
“Well, yeah, that part,” Edwina said. “That wouldn't have even been a fair fight, really.”
“I like fair fights, myself,” he said, and she laughed.
“I kinda do too,” she said. “I hate bullies!”
“So, I chose not to bully him,” Capt. Ludlow said. “The poor man hadn't even loaded his gun … he clearly needed help, so, although I could have given him all the smoke, I chose not to because he can get better too, just like we are … and maybe, just maybe, your mother's relatives will have one more person who gets it together.”
“I don't really care about that,” Edwina said. “Those people are as family what dollar store hot dogs are to your stomach – when the chips are down, and you've got the really good chips, nobody out here needs an artificial dog made with artificial color, artificial flavor, artificial meat, artificial taste, and real stomach bubbling. That whole family is just like that, and I don't care that my mother was part of it because if she and Dad were real parents, they would be here taking care of us. But, see, Eleanor cares. She keeps hoping they will get real, and I care about my big sister, so, I can get with that.”
“I do not know the lieutenant, but I know you and Eleanor and Lil' Robert, and I care about you and your cousin/siblings,” Capt. Ludlow said. “I also care that because I am not at war, that I live at peace, for I care about the Lord, and how He said, 'Be at peace with all men, as far as it depends on you.' I also know you are watching me and your grandmother to get down how you should do that. Grandma has this down pat, but you know, I'm Problem Papa and you're my Problem Child, so in looking out for your cousin, I was really looking out for you and looking out for me, too.”
Edwina snuggled up.
“Yeah,” she said. “I get it now. Gardening is a whole heck of a lot better when it's peaceful.”
“You know, I haven't caught up yet on all the stuff you and Cousin Maggie got done while Grandma and I were away, but the garden looks really good, and even Lil' Robert couldn't eat all the golden berries!”
“Oh, he tried while you were out not killing,” Edwina said, “but, Grandma said what we were having for dinner so he stopped to save room.”
“Knowing when to stop so you can have room for things that are more important is a good skill to learn,” Capt. Ludlow said. “That includes breaking bad, giving people all the smoke, and definitely being a killer. I am one, being an Army man. I never had to play one on TV, so I can tell you: knowing when to stop the violence is a necessary skill to learn.”
“I know your hero name is Papa,” she said, “but you could also be Robert Edward 'Do the Right Thing' Ludlow, you know.”
“Sounds a whole lot safer than 'Hell to Pay,' doesn't it?” he said with a laugh.
“I'm not saying you should drop that because we may still need it!” Edwina said. “This world is bad! But, you can have a whole bunch of hero names because you are a big enough hero!”
“Robert Edward 'Do the Right Thing' Ludlow has a nice ring to it – how about 'Do the Right Thing or Else'?”
“It's too long but I love it!” Edwina said.
“I'll find something that covers both ideas,” he said. “In the meantime, I take it I need to be careful about the hot dogs I buy.”
“Look, Papa, I cover fashion and gardening but I also cover food because these people are going to poison folks, so I'm trying to save lives in advance, like you do. If it ain't Lofton Sausages or Oscar Meyer, we don't need it, because I will break bad! One more case of bubble guts for anyone in this family – I will break bad!”
“Well, you know you can watch Lofton Sausages make hot dogs on their live feed since we can't go to the factory right now,” Capt. Ludlow said, “so, I'm just going to save lives and stock up on those.”
