Image by RÜŞTÜ BOZKUŞ from Pixabay
“So, spiders like to make their webs where they can catch a lot of bugs, but they are kinda particular. They would rather catch lots of flies than bees or wasps because those two can sting, so then you just figure out where the flies want to be.”
“OK,” Milton said while Vertran adjusted his phone camera.
“I just need to pass this on to the people, being the media mogul that I am,” Vertran said.
“How are we supposed to do surveillance with you cracking up – go in the house, Tom!” Mrs. Velma Stepforth said as her husband, Mr. Thomas Stepforth, cracked up about their grandchildren Vertran and Milton's antics.
“So then, if you are living in the countryside, you go around where the cows are, and in the city, find a really ripe dumpster that has some nice overhangs from the building or trees nearby. You can always double-check that there are active spiders because they keep their nests fresh, and there's always a carpet of crushed bugs that they cracked with their legs and sucked dry.”
“How do you know spiders have strong legs, George?” Milton said.
“All that web-weaving,” George said, “so, to keep that up, they gotta be doing leg day. Another good place to find spiders is in the gym on leg day – there's this big black spider that's webbing up my grandfather's leg equipment right now because she doesn't know Papa is coming back for it, so –.”
“Wow!” George's seven-year-old sister Amanda said as she saw her grandfather jump clear over an entire chair, headed for the house. “Papa must have been keeping up his leg day while away!”
“Well, you know – be always ready,” her big sister eleven-year-old Eleanor said. “Besides, when the senior Olympics happen, he's probably going to be holding down the decathlon like Gracie, Milton, Vertran, and Velma's Pop-Pop looks like the senior Harlem Globetrotters are going to come get him any minute.”
“Ain't it the truth,” eight-year-old Gracie Trent said. “I'm waiting for my biggest brother Melvin, my slightly bigger brother Milton, and my cousin Tom to figure out that all they are helping him do is practice because they think being young and watching LeBron James play is enough when they don't practice, but Pop-Pop is always practicing, and he was the Airstepper in college, and he and His Airness play sometimes still and although obviously His Airness always wins, he thinks Pop-Pop is at least an interesting opponent!”
“Wait,” Eleanor said. “Isn't His Airness actually Michael Jordan?”
“Yup,” Gracie said. “They're both Black billionaires. They raise money together for stuff, and they like to get some hoops in sometimes.”
Amanda cracked up laughing.
“I'm only seven years old and I know who Michael Jordan is!” she said. “Your brothers and cousin better start practicing, because if your Pop-Pop can still play with him –hahahahahahahaha”
“Ain't it the truth,” Gracie said. “I'm just waiting on them to figure it out, but, even though I'm just eight, I may not have that much time in my life.”
“I think your Pop-Pop, at 66, just needs to dunk on your 21-year-old brother Melvin just one more time like he doesn't even love him, and that'll do it,” Eleanor said.
“Yeah – he needs to posterize him!” Amanda said, and just fell over laughing.
“I'll make sure – hey, Vertran,” Gracie said as she went over to where he, Milton, and George were talking, “I've got a good idea for a poster – let's talk later.”
“She didn't even say it in front of Milton – cuz' he's going to get posterized too!” Amanda said.
“Well,” Eleanor said, “when you don't practice, bad things can and do happen. We gotta get back on our vocal warmups tomorrow before we have our singing lessons with Col. Wozniak, too.”