Tears, Walls, and Memories

in #hive-1611557 months ago
Poetry

photos-256887_1280.jpg

Source

It was meant to be an ordinary night, A tranquillè (tranquil) moment, free from caós(chaos) and strife, But history was forever scarred by a sudden, fateful decree.

The midnight stillness was broken at 3:45am; My father's solène (solemn) voice, whispering my name, filled me with fricā (fright). It was meant to be an ordinary night.

With groggy sight, I rose to meet him, In the main room's dimness, thinking, he sought a little aidè (help), But history was forever scarred by a sudden, fateful decree.

man-2933984_1280.jpg

Source

His face downturned, a frío (cold) countenance he wore; "Sientatè" (sit down) he whispered, his words weighty, laden with désespoir (despair). It was supposed to be an ordinary night.

His voice, heavy with sorrow, revealed the unthinkable—your sister, has passed on; She was meant to leave the hospital with your mother, at morning's first lumière (light), But history was forever scarred by a sudden, fateful decree.

fantasy-2506830_1280.jpg

Source

As the walls closed in and the air grew dense, tears veiled my heartbroken glance; A soul once cherished, a hèrmoso (beautiful) presence, now a distant memory. It was meant to be an ordinary night, But history was forever scarred by a sudden, fateful decree.

Other Languages Used_French(tranquillè, aidè, lumière, désespoir), Spanish(hèrmoso, caós, sientatè) Portuguese(solène, frío), Romanian(fricā).

Enjoy your day!

2dk2RRM2dZ8gKjXsrozapsD83FxL3Xbyyi5LFttAhrXxr16mCe4arfLHNTfqiWHGaLp3FNS7ZJhLDwwMjh2J81oqoLoSERdG8VBzLEuZS455rBBkUjuwQZvFNvgZquqNraGn4XUbn56BYNGUzgVXRBEHYDpnzKqc8C4yRhPxAr.jpeg

Source

Sort:  

You had a really good concept here but the way you presented it was awkward. I don't understand why you are translating words in brackets - write in one language - if you want to appeal to another set of speakers, rewrite the story in that language. This could have been a really good post - don't give up, just make adjustments.

OMG, I will have that in mind to never repeat. Thanks soooo much for the advice. ❤️