Carlos was walking very fast to get to his third therapy. Just a few days ago he had bought and started reading the book: "A Course in Miracles", and it had not hooked him as he had expected, but he was putting all the constancy of an experienced reader into the task.

She felt a kind of stagnation, and even a clear regression in her initial optimism. He had lowered that energy he had after the first and second therapy that had given him a boost to all those activities related to his life projects. He didn't want to go back to rambling like he did before he started therapy, but he had to admit that it was taking him a world of trouble to be more productive.

On the other hand, he had given in to the temptation to track down his first therapist. The question was detonated, seeing someone very similar walking in the street embracing a very young girl. He had to admit that he was assaulted at that moment by several emotional raptures: he felt something akin to envy, he will also go and a compelling desire to pursue the subject, but he restrained himself.

He stopped suddenly, not realizing that he had arrived at the office, tidied himself up a bit and entered the waiting room. As he sat there, he told himself that he had to make a decision regarding Francisco, his first therapist. He had to resolve the dilemma, to decide if it was wise to remove him from his life definitively or to execute his initial plan to expose him.

He thought about the book he was reading and told himself that he was not God nor was he a judge to try to take justice into his own hands. However, he felt that he was still unsure of his decision. If Francisco was a criminal and did nothing, he was somehow making himself complicit in the situation.

He was so absorbed in his thoughts that he didn't even notice that Laura had arrived at the office until she greeted him:

- Greetings Carlos How are you?

The charming voice of the psychiatrist woke him up abruptly. Looking chagrined and clueless, he hurried to answer the greeting:

- Very good Laura, I am really glad to see you, I hope you are also very well. Although what is in sight....

She smiled and went into her office. Carlos was looking forward to know what was the topic or itinerary that Laura was going to follow in today's therapy. In a way, he did not want her to get involved in the book again, but he thought again with some self-censorship: Who was he to decide how the doctor should conduct the therapy?

When he entered the consulting room and after the first exchange of words and formalities she told him:

- Carlos today we are going to deal with what for me is the Alpha and Omega of my therapy, and it has to do with birth. Birth and death are two fundamental moments of human existence, but the former has physical psychological repercussions that mark us for life.

- Today I want to expand a little on this topic, which I think is essential for anyone who wants to know the reason for many situations that occur in your life. I begin by telling you that we human beings are exceptional beings since we are born at least twice in life. The individual who does not have a second birth, is a being without evolution, who did not awaken in himself all the potential to which our species is capable of accessing. But unlike the first one, he must be conscious.

He sipped his coffee again and continued:

- But paradoxically, in order to be born we have to die. This is not as complex as we hear, however, it is necessary to experience extreme situations that make us not want to continue with our previous life or events that force us to radically change our vision of the world. There are many cases of people who have suffered fatal accidents, survived cancer or come out of situations where their life was compromised, who consider that they died and were born again. Carlos, every experience is different but there are those who die and are born many times.

Carlos thought with some irony, in those beings who commit suicide, they kill the body prematurely, because they do not know or are simply impotent to give birth again psychologically. And the most sarcastic thing was that maybe he was one of those unborn for the second time. And he wondered why the hell had it taken him so long to finish dying? Why?

To be continued...

Carlos, caminaba muy deprisa para llegar a su tercera terapia. Apenas unos días atrás había comprado y comenzado a leer el libro: “Un curso de milagros”, y este no lo había enganchado como esperaba, pero estaba poniendo toda constancia de lector experimentado en la tarea.

Sentía una especie de estancamiento, y hasta un claro retroceso en su optimismo inicial. Había bajado esa energía que tenía después de la primera y segunda terapia que le habían dado un impulso a todas esas actividades relacionadas con sus proyectos de vida. No quería volver a divagar como lo hacía antes de comenzar la terapia, pero tenía que reconocer que le estaba costando un mundo ser más productivo.

Por otro lado, había cedido a la tentación de seguirle la pista a su primer terapeuta. La cuestión se detonó, al ver a alguien muy parecido caminando en la calle abrazando a una chica muy joven. Tenía que reconocer que le asaltaron en ese momentos varios raptos emocionales: sintió algo parecido a la envidia, también irá y unas ganas imperiosas de perseguir al sujeto, pero se contuvo.

Se detuvo de repente, sin percatarse de que había llegado al consultorio, se arregló un poco y entró a la sala de espera. Mientras estaba sentado se dijo así mismo, que tenía que tomar una decisión con respecto a Francisco su primer terapeuta. Debía resolver el dilema, decidir si era prudente sacarlo definitivamente de su vida o ejecutar su plan inicial para dejarlo en evidencia.

Pensó en el libro que estaba leyendo y se dijo así mismo que él no era Dios ni tampoco un juez para tratar de hacer justicia por su propia mano. Sin embargo, sentía que todavía no estaba seguro de su decisión. Si Francisco era un criminal y no hacía nada, de algún modo se estaba haciendo cómplice de esa situación.

Estaba tan absorto en sus pensamientos, que ni siquiera se dió cuenta que Laura había llegado al consultorio, hasta que está lo saludo:

- Saludos Carlos ¿Cómo estás?

La voz encantadora de la psiquiatra lo despabiló de una forma brusca. Con cara de apenado y de despistado, se apresuró a contestar el saludo:

- Muy bien Laura, me alegra de verdad verla, espero que usted esté también muy bien. Aunque lo que está a la vista…

Ella sonrió y entró a su oficina. Carlos tenía expectativa por saber cuál era el tema o itinerario que iba a seguir Laura en la terapia de hoy. De cierta forma, no quería que volviera a enfrascarse en lo del libro, pero pensó otra vez con algo de autocensura: ¿Quién era él para decidir la forma en la que debería llevar la terapia la doctora?

Cuando entró a la consulta y después del primer intercambio de palabras y formalidades ella le dijo:

- Carlos hoy vamos a tratar lo que para mí es el Alfa y Omega de mi terapia, y tiene que ver con el nacimiento. El nacimiento y la muerte son dos momentos fundamentales de la existencia humana, pero el primero tiene repercusiones psicológicas físicas que nos marcan durante toda la vida.

- Hoy quiero extenderme un poco en este tema, que me parece primordial para cualquier persona que desee saber, el porqué de muchas situaciones que acontecen en su vida. Comienzo por decirte que nosotros los seres humanos somos seres excepcionales ya que nacemos por lo menos dos veces en la vida. El individuo que no tiene un segundo nacimiento, es un ser sin evolución, que no despertó en sí mismo todo el potencial al que es capaz de acceder nuestra especie. Pero al contrario del primero tiene que ser consciente.

Volvió a tomar un poco de café y prosiguió:

- Pero paradójicamente para nacer hay que morir. Eso no es tan complejo como se oye, sin embargo,si se necesita experimentar situaciones extremas, que nos hagan no querer seguir con nuestra vida anterior o sucesos que nos obliguen a cambiar radicalmente nuestra visión del mundo. Hay muchos casos de personas que han sufrido accidentes mortales, sobrevivido al cáncer o salido de situaciones donde estaba comprometida su vida, que consideran que murieron y volvieron a nacer. Carlos, cada experiencia es distinta pero hay quienes mueren y nacen muchas veces.

Carlos pensaba con algo de ironía, en esos seres que se suicidan, ellos matan el cuerpo prematuramente, porque no saben o sencillamente son impotentes para gestarse de nuevo psicológicamente. Y lo más sarcástico era que él era uno de esos no nacidos por segunda vez. Y se preguntaba ¿Por qué diablos le había costado tanto terminar de morir? ¿Por qué?

Continuará…