A storm is brewing on the horizon. A vortex made of dark fluffed clouds is forming from the ground towards the infinite void above, rotating, gyrating ever so slightly, at a moment's glance, it looks almost still. Yet its aura ominously gives off what chaos it's about to bring about. As I keep looking at it whilst it moves like a monstrous squid with many tentacles, my heart is filled with fear of unknown magnitude. My brain commands my legs to turn about and run as far away as possible, but they are frozen, planted firmly on the ground with no hints of budging.
A polar opposite of a scenario takes place on the other side of the sky. The sun is blazing down mercilessly from the heavens with such cloudless cruelty, its extremity seems to be a cruel ploy of the gods. Even if I could unstuck my legs and run from the prodigious havoc coming my way, I would be burnt to a crisp with a rigidity no less than that of a fried well potato chip in texture. And here I am, standing right on the line where shadow meets chaos, where fate is playing no rules defined rugby with my being.
The inky marsh I'm standing on top formed from the putrid rotting dead bodies of my ancestors who came before me. The odour coming from it is unsettling yet familiar. This I feel what gangrene of a soul might smell like, a soul devoured by the demons, puked out and later stepped on due to its sour taste. And it's familiar as its fragrance seeps out from my own deep in the nights when I commit the most horrendous acts unimaginable.
The first time I smelled it was the day when I saw my old man standing there with blood on his hand and a grin maniacal on his face. He looked proud of the horrendous act he had just committed. Under his legs, lying on the ground with no signs of life, was a woman in a state similar to a bear mauling its prey. From the eyes of a child, it seemed to be a setting out of a theater played in purgatory. I had felt how pleased he was but failed to comprehend what I had witnessed. I had looked at all of it with questions whose answers I would come to find over the years. Night after night, I would see him bloody with that grin maddening on his face.
After some time, when the night would become deep and silent, the doors would screech to open up slowly, and he would appear with a silhouette of jack the ripper. From atop of the stairs, I would see him go down the flight of steps towards the basement, which was followed by muffled screams moments later. In unrest, I would go down, too, to look at the events transpiring beneath my feet. And now, when I am older, I realize I should never have peeped through the keyhole to gaze into the wonderland of evil, gaze into the corrosion of humanity as it had tainted my own.
For decades this had went on, and then came that day when he had returned with no prey to torture. And that day, instead of going down, he had chosen the stairs up, unknowing of me having been preparing for it ever since the first time I had laid my eyes upon him committing the acts of abominations. And when I had found myself standing on top of him with his state similar to that of his own prey, I had realized how far the corrosion had spread to my own soul. How, when I had looked into the abyss, it also had gazed into mine. How I have become my own father, and the impurity will not wash off ever again
Now, I write this under a great deal of mental strain since, by tomorrow morning, I shall be no more. Penniless, committed patricide, a serial murderer and at the near end of my supply of opioids which had made life endurable till now. It is proving arduous to suffer from this torment any longer. As I plan to cast my soulless decaying body in front of the storm come tomorrow morning, do not take me as a degenerate scum for being a slave of opioids. As I write this with fingers on the verge of letting go, when you read through these stained pages, you may not understand or grasp why I have to have forgetfulness or death. I intend to cross the eye of the storm on my own terms, and as the vortex lifts me up, I hope you see me ascend from the impurity and the sins as an innocent.
