Disclaimer
I am not responsible about the outcomes whether you would be scolded online or have to receive penalty in your DM hehe)
- Impressophilic;
In this category people who are Jake of all trades but master of none falls. You can easily identify them on social media as well as in real life too. Do you remember the guy in marriage who shouts and dances like he is someone , dresses more uncommon than groom , roams in girls section just to exchange looks and phone number,even puts on sunglasses in night events,shows obedience to each pretty girls moms, takes good care of little babies just to impress their aunt.
Hey girls I am not going to give clean chit now hehe, meet miss someone who is no one at her own home but she tries to get attention of all the guys and specifically their moms, she only knows how to make fried eggs but in the wedding menu you would hear uncommon mistakes in every dish. You can't give her a shut up call as Google is her friend in everything. She would tell the overrated prices of all her clothes and they wouldn't be available on any online platform rather her aunt or mom purchased them from Italy's local market through window shopping. She would give red flags to all the gentlemen and will fall in love with a flirty guy whose number of GF are immensebin number .
- Affectionophilic;
Ladies and gentlemen if your partner falls in this category, sorry we can't recuse you now. You will have cravings for love , maybe you would rub his/her feets or hands in the middle of night . But what you will listen to is “let me sleep”. You will die to have a gift from his/her side but you will listen to the statement “next time”. You will drop romantic texts but blue tick will burn your heart and soul. If you take him/her to the doctor they will tell you “patients have deficiency of love, recovery chances are mood dependent”. They have memory loss for all the romantic moments you have had. Even watching fifty shades of gray will give you the vibe Fifty shades of sleep to snoring . You have to spend the rest of your life in excuses, sweet lies , and discourtesy . Just have patience and pray for you.
- Happinophiloc;
Science terms this as OCD but they haven't seen the girls who become sister in law when you get married. They will try to make you feel low by portraying their efficiency in everything in their own household chores. It's hard for them to digest compliments about you, they can turn into animal mode sometimes when they see you are being praised or liked by anyone at home. They will always peep at you when you are sitting with your husband(a CIA unpaid agent, keep in mind she will throw bad glances on your relationship too). You can't see a decent person like her when their in -laws visit her. She will bahave like she is the one and only nicest person in the world(the irony of life when you have to stay silent as you have to survive in that home too). She will re-wash the dishes which you washed earlier just to show you that you did shit work(don't stop her , let her drain her own energy).Her biggest support is given by her mom( those who say there is women behind each successful men I confirm that there is mother who spoils her daughter too) , who is there to proclaim that her daughter is the only one who is carrying world on her shoulders. She knows nothing about married life but always puts her legs in all the affairs, even asking the reason for your shower too. She will immediately start losing her weight because of jealousy, her facial expressions will make you realize that the devil has only one daughter and it's her.
- Doctor at your door;
I guess enough puns for today , if you meet these peeps in your life try to tackle them with bare hands (I wouldn't suggest calmly,) throw anything you are having in your hands if you have to face police custody for this don't take my name please. Lol
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