Hello Hivers! @baby.magic here, back again with another funny story that will surely put a smile on all yo' faces.
So let's get to it.
Filipino time
If you're gonna invite a Filipino to a party make sure to lie about the actual time the party starts.
If the party starts at 7 o'clock tell us that it starts at 6.
'Coz if you tell us the actual time the party starts we'd be there an hour late.
And we like to wait for the eleventh hour before we actually finish a job or task too.
I for one am guilty of this. My english teacher told me to write a summary and review on a novel, any novel I choose. And she gave me a 1 week deadline.
I didn't do it until 1 day before the deadline.
I started reading the novel but then I got lazy coz it was a 300 page novel so what I did was I read the summary at the back of the novel and wrote my review from that.
I cheated my review and I got a 100 for it.
The teacher probably didn't read the whole novel too and just went right away to the back part where the summary is.
I changed the words and added some creative writing to make it look like I read the whole novel.
And I got away with it.
TV Show
If you've never watched a Filipino drama show before then let me tell you. It's not a Filipino drama show if no one gets kidnapped.
There's always someone getting kidnapped. This week it's the wife and the husband saves her.
Next week, it's the daughter and then the father saves her.
The week after that, it's the housemaid.
Everybody gets kidnapped.
And the show will only end once there's no one left to get kidnapped.
I think they should include it in the title of the show like,..
Endless Love: Kidnapping Overload!
I'm sure it's gonna be a big hit if they did that.
You know what's really funny though. One actor turned politician actually tried it in real life. He kidnapped a rich businessman's daughter and guess what, he got caught.
Didn't he learn from all the drama shows he was part in. The bad guy always gets caught.
He should've known better.
And everybody wants to be on TV.
Youtube is the best thing that ever happened to us Filipinos.
'Coz we get to star in our own TV shows through Youtube.
You see all these YT channels like Pablo Santos TV, Juanderful TV, all types of filipino names paired with the word TV.
And we don't care if we're only getting 20 views for our vlogs and that all the views are coming from our relatives. The important thing is that we're on TV.
Filipino Jobs
Ask anyone in the Middle East, China, Singapore, HongKong what comes to their mind when they hear the word Filipino. And they'll all tell you the same thing..
Domestic helpers(Maid).
Filipinas are a natural at this job. It's part of our upbringing. The girls clean the house while the boys play basketball.
Even Pacman's wife Jinkee, she still cleans her own house and washes her clothes by herself.
You don't have to do that you're husband is RICH! You can hire a dozen maids if you wanted too. Just ask Manny!
But that's a typical Filipina for you.
And most people think that all tech support agents work in India.
Jaiho!
But there are tech support agents in the Philippines too. I used to work in a callcenter before.
I remember this one agent who was talking to a customer over the phone and he was giving him the ticket number for the complaint, right? And it went like this,..
Agent: "Okay, Mr. Jones. I want you to write down the ticket number. Let me know when you're ready."
Customer: "I'm ready. What is it?"
Agent: "It's H like house, Q like cucumber, K like cake and the numbers six, one and nine."
Customer: "Q like cucumber?"
Agent: "Yes! And K like cake."
Customer: "Let me talk to your supervisor!"
The guy probably thought the agent was making fun of him. But the agent wasn't kidding around when he said that. The agent got a memo and a copy of phonetics as a guide.
And then there's the "Istambay". It's a filipino slang for jobless bystanders. You can find a lot of them in basketball courts.
Some of which make it a lifestyle to be jobless and be dependent on others.
But the great thing about being a Istambay is they're excellent husband material.
'Coz they have plenty of time for their wife.
Some women complain about their husband not having enough time for them. Well then, marry a Istambay they'll give you all the time in the world. One of the perks of not having a job.
Killer Karaoke
Filipinos just love singing. There are a lot of singing contest going on in every barrio. Especially during fiestas. And we practice a lot through karaoke.
And the most popular song in karaoke bars is My Way by Frank Sinatra.
Everybody wants to sing that song and then kill each other afterwards.
I don't know why. But you can see it in the news from time to time. People killing each other in a karaoke bar because of the song "My Way".
One time a person called 911 because of this and it went like this,...
Agent: 911, what's your emergency?
Caller: Help me! I'm shaking. I'm fearing for my life.
Agent: What's the emergency, Ma'am?
Caller: Someone is singing the song My Way by Frank Sinatra. Please help me. I don't wanna die!
Agent: Ma'am, I need you to calm down and find a safe place where you can hide. Help is on the way.
Caller: Thank you.
Agent: This is dispatch. We have a possible murder in progress. Code, my way! I repeat code, my way!
Caller: Aaaahhhh! Heellppp!
Agent: Ma'am, what happened? Why did you scream?
Caller: He's singing the chorus part.
Agent: This is dispatch! You're gonna have to hurry. The suspect is singing the chorus part.
I guess that's how much we love singing that we would kill for it.
And since I'm talking about singing, I'm gonna leave you a parody of the song "Havana by Camila Cabello".
If you don't know the song listen to the chorus part here .
Banana
Banana o nana...
She likes to eat with her vagina nanana...
She took me back to her apartment nanana...
Half of my dick in her vagina,..
Im sticking my banana,..
In her vagina na...
[EVERYBODY NOW....]
Banana o nana...
She likes to eat with her vagina nanana...
She took me back to her apartment nanana...
Half of my dick in her vagina,..
Im sticking my banana,..
In her vagina na...
You will never listen to this song the same way again. Ever.
And that's the end of the post.
Thank you for making it to the end I hope you enjoyed reading it.
If you like this post let me know in the comments section.
And my name is @baby.magic & that's it for now. Jah bless!
Any upvotes, follows and reblogs is greatly appreciated.
Photo taken from my phone. GIF powered by Tenor.
Link to the contest, here .